apparently I'm losing my mind I'm not impaired but I shouldn't be driving that makes no sense but it is it does make sense make some friends I know this guy will probably hang out with me on February 18th 2022 Theodore John Evans a 51 year old man was pulled over just before 11 pm after authorities received multiple calls about a Toyota RAV4 Running Red Lights swerving out of its Lane and recklessly overtaking other cars in no passing zones during the encounter the sheriff office noticed Theodore's bloodshot and watery eyes a clear sign of impairment Theodore behaved erratically speaking nonsensically and claimed to be high and happy due to his use of a vape pen yeah I took off of work I haven't been here since I was 15. I'm just having a good day and I was already having a good day through the Habib store in Key West or yeah Key Largo okay give me one of these okay I think it's crazy I don't even want it what is it it's Delta eight hemp CBD okay but it gets it silly I'm not I'm not I mean I think you're trying to be able to handle everything down I mean my birthday's on 22 22 on Tuesday my buddy from high school I haven't seen him since 15 he's down here waiting for me in an RV park arrest me for having a good day like do it like throw the book out give me a ticket oh like I'm trying to figure out if you're okay to drive because we've been having I don't want this this is that stuff I need to get this off the street okay it's not as power as the wheat is yeah but it's enough to make you do weird and I'm being weird like I can't this may be weird it's legal it's it besults me in the Keys [Music] out of them it's just so I'm feeling some love spreading love I swear to god dude sunglasses my love dude all right well I need to make sure that you're safe and everybody else everybody else is safe to drive here too so if you guys want you can tell me in and I'll hit you like I can ride the bike hey you can do that if you guys want to take me in I would appreciate that actually that would be cool man yeah because this stuff you made me feel weird man I don't feel right driving on it okay if you guys come here but I don't know what this stuff is he said it was legal I swear to God it's illegal I'm like what is it he's like oh it's a vape oh right on them people I don't know I thought I saw a guy that I didn't know I waited I'm excited about the truckers because they stood up for us I don't know what else to tell you I mean guys from high school it's my birthday on Tuesday come back I don't know what else to say here's my credit cards take my wallet I don't want to take any of your stuff I just want to get Key West and hang up my voice I got you all right dude look at me yeah there you go so you know I'm not a liar I'm talking about Brad Pitt you guys get my signature right now well would you mind just stepping out of the car for me I just want you guys to help me I'm being honest I like to perform some Shield sobriety exercises but I'm done with that thing all right I think all right it's legal so I don't know do I get a ticket we're gonna figure out these videos I'll probably put it I'm probably better off does that make sense like I'm actually asking you guys all right well I'm almost figuring that out my birthday's on Tuesday okay well let's do some hold on settle down anything dude take this one step down I got business cards I'm in business Evan's it's my company Evans okay and Company entertainment it's not entertainment it's Enterprises if it's a company enterprise LLC State of Florida Floridian I know you know my parents are in a house Bonita Springs since I was two okay I'm excited do I have to give you the keys I don't know how to explain this like I'll write it down I'll take it drag me into the station question me you can even lock me up but as long as you let me go I'm gonna be stoked I want to make sure that you're that you're okay but if I get an accident I stopped because I like my car and I'm having a good time to ruin my whole vacation so if you guys can pull this off I could probably do a triple A here's my card but if you guys want the expense I mean I am I'm a taxpayer Florida lab attacks the airport I'll call him right now AAA Allah before we do all that this is let me come down here I left this dude yeah so if you think I'm crazy that's up to you we go down to eight that apparently the federal government thinks is okay making me feel silly I'm looking at these Hawks thinking I could you know maybe bring them down if I talk to them that's not weird but it's true I can't explain this okay I'm trying my best I mean police officers I love them all I believe blue my dad was a Navy man he's in Vietnam taught me respect the police world hunger why don't we step out do you want to do something all right I've been stoned in 20 years guys got me stoned because I came in with a good attitude I think they were trying to burrow me down it's your birthday happy birthday take this I don't think they're I don't want to rattle I don't know the name of the place they all look the same smoke shop they're selling these things guys all right I'm trying to help you guys let's do some fscs like I said I'm not it's hard there's a fine line right I haven't drank anything yep um you do a blood testing on Delta 90s I got this hybrid CBD page whatever all right well let's hop out I just want to see if you're good to drive a funny story Hey Joe you gotta check this out tell them the whole story my boss I said I need days off because no I think your birthday's coming back because these are symptoms and you should take this down just leave it right there okay all right just leave it right there come on is evidence I mean all right we will come on I mean I can't explain that guy at the Habib shop gave me something and it's legal League all right now we're asking you yeah you know I don't know how to explain this stuff guys I I'm being as Frank and his honest is like no no we get it I don't get that that much can we do some math I see your coaster like a play chance can you listen to me Theodore and fish I would have one are you willing to perform take me to the station let me talk to the captain I'm gonna laugh the whole time sobriety exercise to make sure that you're okay so are you willing to do feel surprised okay sir to do that you're gonna have to pay attention Okay so go ahead and put that on your seat okay and then when you get to follow the directions and then we're good to go okay worry about that in a second we gotta do this step first there's no ways I said it's better than a ranch it's one of those styrofoams remember the body boys they treated me while growing up you said you guys protecting them in Westchester and getting Speedy tickets he had the cards they don't know how it works I don't have the cards I apologize all right so do you understand what's going on get a sobriety test okay you don't know what it is have you had any other anything other than that you don't need it can you take off your glasses real quick sir okay you should go yeah you know it's good stuff I'm like all right right on my birthday because I get in the car if I continue the packaging's in my car if you want to read I'll give you the packaging all right and that's all that you've had of course no it's fine we're just trying to figure out what's going on is it normal for you to talk like this no do you do you feel yourself talking this way okay usually quiet all right it's psychotic it's a they call it and what about these callers they're saying you're passing 10 cars at a time oh why would you have it against I don't be passed when passion dotted lines but yeah I mean look I'll even admit I probably did go probably seven to ten miles over this field I probably did and I'm admitting that as well I don't know what else to say guys hey man [Music] Hey listen listen listen listen right here we're just can you give me hey right where we are right here is just a horrible spot to do build sobriety are you okay with us for taking me right there to the corner okay so we're gonna go in this part right here the car's fine I'm gonna take the keys out be a door Theodore sir can we grab the packaging to that okay guys [Applause] you know I don't know shorts I got a Louis Vuitton what's this what's this route that goes it's over Roxy build a bong they were competitors element and DC oh wow that's one heck of a conglomerate that's what I'm saying dude they put together a Powerhouse so I got the Rubens but you know none of these guys around movies man I don't know how to tell you guys you're the guy you want here I know the guy you want to beat up I don't want to do that at all the police but I want to make sure that you're okay to drive saying that you're hot it's a little Stone but I'm silly but I feel I feel it actually focused all right I feel it can have a little piff and his Boom the truckers the truckers went off on my head I'm like these guys are part of the reason yeah so I'm all yeah guys are you sick or injured but it's true I was stoked that the trucker stood up no one else did now they're 12 masks wave at him and people oh that guy's weird pull them over Theodore injured theaters are you sick or injured no no I'm trying dude I swear to God if we can't do this okay ready one two three do you have any physical defects I'll have a separated shoulder from are you diabetic no dude no 100 healthy okay I even had my hair at 52 for God's sakes I know and it looks even better than me of course I look good I live in the sun in the saltwater the sun's bad for you and the ocean's polluted I'm out there every day dude I look great you take insulin no I don't take anything dude okay I take vitamins I got a multivitamin I take biotin because it's good for your skin and hair all right do you wear corrective lenses why because they told me it's good for me and it's a Botanical not Pharmacy do you wear corrective lenses no no I got him in the car I wear reading glasses okay no do you I got polarizes no no okay dude no I don't have any else yeah you have blindness in either eyes I have no illness okay so no blindness nothing I've never had a heart attack I've never got I got cut once I separated the shoulder I got caught on a reef I don't have any tattoos for fisherman lover of life and sunshine and air you know how else can I explain this man all right I'm the kind of guy you want to know I'm on your side I agree he's got to restroom all right he's got one of those weird bikes how do we bring you down here Theodore how do we bring it to our level take it put it in the car okay we'll get the tickets in the tip I got it just say hey he was slightly you know I don't know what to say he's slightly on the Delta eight that the guy gave him okay I'm still gonna wake this up Gucci Oakley Ray-Ban Louis Vuittons they're like insane my buddy Theodore how can I explain this further you won't be here all right is your crossing your eyes WTF get back in the position welcome to Florida and then now go home and G8 so it's wqf okay and then you can just next exercise we're gonna have to do it as a refusal Em are you able to continue or are you done yeah I'll do whatever you want but we're the two people that reported me and got a problem with me let me guess they were not flirting there was like five people but they're all flirtings any one of them are you are you refusing to continue the exercises I don't know where they're from they're not from here I don't know are you refusing to no okay okay put your feet back together yes sir answer your style yes sir thanks buddy happy birthday to me you know I mean I'm just a happy good luck the instructions are kind of lengthy and if you don't understand me just let me know okay do not start until I tell you sure do you understand the instructions absolutely sir all right when I tell you to begin take nine heel to those steps turn around yeah keeping one foot on the line and return taking nine heel to toes all right I'm gonna demonstrate it for you real quick hold on I'm gonna demonstrate [Applause] right let me eight nine them in how many Ibraham guys I was trying to yeah my birthday's not going well man they pulled me over forever to get time what do you mean son oh I smoked this thing why did you do something crazy like that get home [Music] we're gonna try the one like standing okay giving Shaka signs sorry yes sir all right for this exercise we're gonna stand with your heels together and your arms on your side okay hey Theodore you said that you had a shoulder injury yeah Anthony Anthony is that the place yes that's a second chords down there I work for that company I'm a sales rep it's my own product and it's legal okay all right looks like a great time YouTube video all right over here okay we're gonna walk right over here I'm sorry man that's just I'm gonna have fun like that no jokes are bad go work someone's feelings you know I understand you watch Dave Chappelle he's kind of mean about it just a really nice um orderly fashionable good sense of humor way we got you all right and if that's wrong and it is the electric bike I have to have the grippy remember pants or grippy yep the sandals are too that's why I play Just sandals I don't grip yeah and then I have a reefs they don't grip yeah [Music] seriously bunny Hops and stuff yeah and we like you'll see me this weekend if you don't lock me up crucified I got your uh your watch and your sandals up front here thank you man wasn't Sean Penn cool when he was just McCauley and Fast Times yeah I mean one of these guys they get a little money a little power and they think they're it's like dude I mean and I'm the bad guy apparently because I wave at people in truckers because they were good people now I'm going down the back on a cop car I'll probably get enough tickets we're just gonna drain my money for the weekend but I don't care cause No One's Gonna ruin my good time on my birthday 52nd on 222 so that's why I'm just saying you guys do whatever the you want you to throw me the water I'll swim all right dude honestly I read Wikipedia and Wikipedia literally I pulled it up like three weeks ago they're like we need your help please donate they're trying to take us off Google Yahoo like please donate I'm like donate okay here you go can I put some money out of my accounts already went to PayPal 200 bucks Florida baby USA and apparently I'm gonna be crucified people think I'm weird and disturbing them oh did I break a noise ordinance my reggae was it like I have a JBL system with 10 speakers the thing was mild and even blasted the music wasn't all these black guys I'm not president they're like don't come down here with your lifted trucks boom boom boom boom scaring babies they don't think about that oh what's this little family next to me in the RV they got a baby in there and he's sleeping and you're waking him up with this stupid music I didn't say my dad told me that I don't know what it means but I know the difference between a black and a and these mothers better shut up they shouldn't be allowed down here bro you guys should be waiting for them uh Islamorada roadblock hey we'd like to see your ID why are you coming down here let me open your trunk please oh I got to have a warrant oh we got this special warrant says anyone comes through here we can do everything we want so you guys get a car you're gonna get patted down we're gonna search we'll find something and what we do you're getting arrested we're gonna pound your car and send your own packet I'm sick of it I just want to have a good time of the keys I can't explain it the guy I know this I'd sell the and I haven't smoked I swear to God I sell it and I haven't smoked one in six months I'm like I'm going to the keys I bought a ton of it dude look at my go look at my backpack it's legal I don't know if you're here but look at my backpack I brought him down for all the people down here I'm gonna start handing them out I got gummies I got um I got regular baits Monster Vape Labs regular baits you know nicotine five percent 3 500 Puffs I got like seven flavors of those uh check out my bag dude they're out of Orlando monster monster group they make the best vape products they make Kratom which helps in chronic pain is an opioid alternative oh sorry Purdue what happened to Purdue Pharmaceuticals for perpetuating Nazi cotton problems you know what's funny I still have a license at Johnson and Johnson yeah and it's FDA approved and still legal guy and I'm not mean to call it a guy I'm just not pissed but now you're getting me in a bad mood and I'm just trying to have a good move yeah it makes you high makes you want to listen to reggae makes you want to open a car and let the sun come shining on your face it makes you want to have a good time with the cops that pull you over and if that wrong throw the at me man I'm an American and I'm proud and I was like this it's going down man but you know I'm gonna have that attitude remember when you met me what was that happening so don't take that away from me I'm not trying to so I signed up for the um Freedom Boat Club of South Florida so the girl's like oh seven ground down and then uh 450 a month so I'ma say okay like white shroop from the office I'm like Listen sweetheart I go I just had engaged last week I need a boat oh yeah where are you from oh originally from New Jersey ocean city grew up Surface King oh my little brother so I knew I had her in my pocket I said um I said look like my fiance said my budget is 5K up front in less than 500 a month can you do it she goes well like hold on let me know my phone number's from San Diego anyway so it's funny he's the one I call the call Distributors from my 619 number which is a Google Voice number by the way yeah I do have a phone number and a Google Voice people didn't answer me on the Google voice I call them on my number they say hello voice is integrated in the cellular unit oh really it's pretty wild yeah so now I lost my train of thought what story was I telling you uh something about it I think it was uh Google listen don't tell anyone this can get all up all right because they're gonna run out of folks man don't don't tell anyone dude please keep your sergeant just know that you can get it done for a year they've got three in Stuart I live in Jupiter yeah one in Riviera Beach one in Lantana one in Pompano one one in Fort Lauderdale and they're adding six more and then if you want to go to another club like you're on the phone that was telling me like yeah he's all fired up and then I lied to say hey you know what um all my friends are really rich I had a lot of friends down in Palm Beach we're uh Weinstein's from Trump oh yeah yeah why she's kind of an but yeah right now I said I said pick me up and I'll you know I'll referring to you and I don't even want any money I just you sound cute she was a girl her name's Tiffany I'm not posting you you sounded cute but I'm engaged so I'm like you know what I'm just playing her right here so yeah yeah if I bring can I get your credit cards I said yeah but you gotta break it up in two credit cards because I have my own company I'm going to write it off as the entertainment I mean these guys cheat on their Tech you know Trump paid less than taxes than the average American I'm not gonna go there everyone's like you and Trump or no I hated him but Biden hated him Reagan hated him Bush hated him uh every one of them Clinton hated him who did you like Ted Jimmy Carter I was born in 1970 that didn't do anything it was a peanut farmer so if you don't believe me Google it you won't Google it because you go to Jimmy Carter and they're like who's the worst president he didn't do anything he sat around smoking cigars the country was peaceful anyway I have a fiance to answer to oh yeah I know what that's like I used to be yeah I'm not the boss she is so I'm gonna give you two cards my business card Evans and Company Enterprises which is a new LLC they gave me the little cute debit card oh how much would you put on this because you haven't put a grand on it oh we'll Transit from your personal account perfect now I get a grand on there it's okay they took a it's like a cue card I don't know it makes sense so she goes up half and half okay right on boom boom boom puts half in the business card and half on my debit card my personal cards Miss rabbits you're really good to do business with are you really gonna send me yeah do I sound like a guy that would lie to you no no you sound cool if you ever come up to Tampa clear order you know hit me up at the office honey I just told you I was engaged that's why they're carrying over there yeah that's not the point most people would think that's the point of my story it's not so the bottom line is this so if you go to another club okay there's all over there's one's in San Diego they're around the country not Florida yeah the next I'll put him in the Bahamas dude I'm telling it's only gonna get better still get any sweeter yeah well this bowling company bought them I'm like bowling like yeah Rawling or something I'm like really she's like yeah they bought him like five years ago we've grown like five grand down split on two cards one is business I'm writing that off why shouldn't I they do but they'll tell anyone this because I think it's tax evasion I don't think IRS up my ass yeah so this is just they do it with loopholes what do you think Delta eight is you guys forced us to sell to Hell tonight and where State distribution units you tax the out of it you guys are making a love song and the beams can sell it on their shops so all my customers are convenience stores for these products so that's how we get the Vape and we got the Delta a we got that line of CBD called MC we got the Tusk Kratom most of it I'm a Botanical guy so I'm all about like opioid yeah yeah I don't like it killed a lot of my friends I got two friends out of heroin I don't want to go there I like I like nirvonic or clobane I'm not going to go there like Sean Kratom because it's an alternative and just like Bob Marley said everything comes from the earth everything you need I'm starting to believe it not in the Botanical business and The Vape I'm uncertain of you know yes it's better than a cigarette there's no tar and they try to say oh well we got people to stop smoking shift over Vape I said everyone I know that smokes cigarettes does both now yeah look oh don't tell anyone that you know so I don't like selling that and I tell people I'm like you know I'm not a fan of their Vape products they taste really good they're five percent tobacco with a silicone tip these hard tips yeah I'll give you one of these eggs by the way I got them in my bag strawberry kiwi pomegranate it's insane but not a custard ice there's a menthol sensation I'm like what the one of the kids are buying them so I'm not proud of that and I even told the Boston time I said you know what how about we move the Vape products out of our portfolio and you make me the alternative Brands sales manager he said what do you mean alternative Brands I said everything would hate I said I'll sell the Kratom Tusk kratom sell the MC CBD and there's four lines under hemp see by the way one is called Happy Pets send me some of those samples I hooked up my homie he's got three dogs he said candy bark I put a couple tinctures under the tongue they shot up they lay down and have a nap so they're still like hot kicks I don't know man out of my mind so that's that's why I created the products because I know hempc helps a lot of people it's from the cannabis plant without the psychoactive effect so you get all the benefits of you know biting off what it's trust me the only difference between me and yours imagine a gun and a taser I do a pepper spray in my backpack though I'll find one in the top and one in the middle and one on the side because I don't want to fight man so guy comes fronting on me oh yeah gears I'm talking about this rain game Bob Marley blah blah blah all right whatever you're like begging the stallion go yourself so if one of those guys comes at me dude I'm not gonna fight him I'm gonna spray in the face of the pepper sprayer slap him spray him in the face slap him in the face take his drink and his woman and walk away so that's why the pepper is ready to be here station dude this is what's another the first island Key Largo told me I would have prepared mentally now back here cooped up like a chicken anyway so you from Florida yeah right on dude what's the part the keys shut up dude what you were born on the islands yeah so you love Bob and Peter Tosh Steel Pulse Iration Revolution ayatera uh I don't know bunny Whaler Burning Spear Blacky Guru Shaggy new Benson Shabba Ranks [Music] I would never see high scores on this 13 and I worked with the best Surf Shop 15 years old sir Ford Escape 14. it's all my kids in high school named Sean Evans by the way Sean Michael Evans born in 1970 to my father I'm eight minutes older so long story short we ran up to City High School we were selling herbs everybody having a good time talking to people how to skate one of the best Surfers on my surf team wanted to skate I took him to a half hype he saw me drop in thought he could drop down broke his femur he was mad at me not my fault he kick off you sure if you can skate no they're different yeah they are trust me they're doing both very well so he was pissed but that's neither here nor there his name is Dave stuffing so him and his brother moved out to California first it was Dave and Jason stumping two of the best service of my high school One landed in downtown San Diego he liked the city and it wasn't much of a city when I moved there in 1995 mellow trust me I lived there in the heydays to 2020. we got out of there when the pandemic here to chase him I said why am I paying this premium for them to lock up the beaches they literally break out front six blocks from the beach Carlsbad that's not my break you can't go on there you're trespassing trespassing dude oh we'll rescue oh okay good luck with that you try to come home try to get back in the skateboarding twisted my ankle I haven't skateboarded since I was 40. you got to give something up at 40. I said the skateboard's the first to go try that again I was bored I could surf so it was an ankle chicks mad at me saying to leave me whatever I don't care because whenever there's one that leaves just tend to show up so I don't know man and she's pissing me right now oh you shouldn't go down there it's we're gonna get in trouble I might get in trouble but you're not gonna know about it trust me on that one texting me I should show your text message you'd lock her up psycho 40 messages today dude and then I got pissed I might listen to my reggae you know how like when you have that on Bluetooth and people are hitting you up it's like dude my rhythm and my music I'm listening uh I think Sean Paul I got my favorite bike I don't have my beach cruiser because it takes too long to ride it and I knew if I got into traffic I could pop into a hotel probably with a credit card I have from the San Diego Credit Union that only has a ten dollar balance put that down get the room I'm gonna use another car tomorrow get the ticket for the thing put that in the window grab my bike and bounce I thought it was brilliant oh I'm not constant traffic you are I'll park in my car at a hotel getting free parking because I pay taxes here and I'm riding an electric bike in and then when you ride your bike in there so you get these big truck guys dude you man so I smoked until date it makes me mellow I always have the Bluetooth speaker shout out to my unit forgot that that's the only thing I forgot I got this big Skull Candy Airaid waterproof resistant proof speaker that's got bass I wish I had that thing on the countertops I was so excited to leave it's the only thing I forgot you can check my bag this guy's complete the shirt bag in the back you know with the wetsuits you shouldn't have an extra pair of flip-flops and there's two comments at the bottom oh crucify them he's wearing a condom and if he gets lucky he's gonna get lucky oh he's not I'm not married I'm engaged there's a big difference some girls grabbing my yeah no I can't do it my check so I think I'll just blow up the chairs and just have a good time hop in the pool maybe can I take my surfboard to that island but the castle can I paddle out on the board is that possible the island you know what I'm talking about the Spanish woman oh you have to go by boat and pay twenty dollars oh yeah right oh no that's way too far oh is it really oh yeah you want to watch like seriously take a book take a collection at the stations this guy's crazy man he's not he's taking a paddles the Lost serpent do you notice that's a soft word by lost am I made him and Cat surf I've never sharp this good I I lost my touch for surfing at 40. no I had short boards longboard surfed every day I hit 40 drop skateboarding I didn't want to surf I was just over and then my girlfriend was like you gotta get back in the surfing come on soon to be fiance by the way the Rings in the mail she's still not even my fiance look at the ring in two weeks and then I could take my time or propose yeah so man I don't know man I'm losing my mind apparently I'm losing my mind so arrest me put me in a Cell crucify me I don't care I'll be the next Jesus being like Bob Marley and Kurt Cobain shoot me up with an oxycontins he was in pain okay give him 10 of these he's dead marijuana's illegal now it's legal because they're making money but they don't want Delta a because it takes out of their pocket but it comes from CBD and it's got more medical benefits and gets you high less it's wrong so that's why I sell it because it's kind of a you to the Cannabis industry yeah they all call they call me all the time come sell XYZ I'm like why would I sell for you I'm limited to the states where medically available or dispensaries Texas I want to sell to Texas yeah yeah duh and all my hexes are in Texas yeah I like to pop over there go to the trade shows yeah check out my I got sick bait products down to a THC yeah yeah I got hemp oh you're like oh you got a pack yeah here take some free give it to your pet friends they're calling me up hey where can I get this online use my code I'm the independent contractor I don't work for him I'm like yeah I'll just push product away like cool they're making a mint off me dude so yeah they sent me samples hey send me a couple boxes of the news you should see my broom dude I gotta start selling my girlfriend's like sell it I'm like I don't want to sell it it's probably illegal imagine listing out on Facebook Marketplace doorstep why it doesn't make sense look at Purdue Pharmaceuticals the debunked Johnson to Johnson license oxycontins they'll still prescribe them to you that's how bad these people are fentanyl morphine Percocet I don't give a sh I got a stick figure hat dude by pelagic stick figure who set the word on fire money is [Music] who set the world on fire who set the word on fire it was me who said the world on fire you guys can empty that pan it's six milliliters of this liquid and uh I only took you pause I'm not you yeah and I feel awesome man you know I feel no pain so if I had chronic pain right now I wouldn't be feeling it foreign oxycodones and codons and clowns dude they're packing us up with Pharmaceuticals so I can find to make a lot of money on the phone scandemic and I see the fight man Johnson Johnson's got oxycontins yeah I know that I read Wikipedia I'm hot as dude I'm just letting you know I'm sweating my balls off bro yeah it's like September the keys and I got a jacket on a hoodie you're dying dude they're not dying you're all right yeah you're right isn't it fun everyone complains of the cops like I can't breathe back here shut up dude you turn on the air conditioning if you can't take it you're not from here okay well you're going to jail hope you never come back yeah dude I am so stoked I have no care in the world I don't give up yeah what you do to be mad it's like Bob I don't think anyway my food to peaches I've served I've skated I've snowboarded all the best spots I traveled to 50 countries 42. my birthday is on 22. hey do you have anything on your mouth Theodore you don't have anything in your mouth I took two pots because I know they're six milliliter liquid in there now I need two because I don't smoke much I feel like um I should play Bob Marley hit a pool I don't even care about the drink yeah I got my boardies in the bag I'll wear these stretches I don't care I don't care get away the bench it looks I got two more pairs look at my car got a pelagic pair and a reef pair however I don't need them oh women I need 35 shoes are flip-flops that's all I have though yeah I have one pair of vans I got two pairs of pants these are black on blacks dark and then I got a black on Gray black in the middle the black on Gray has a red band simple in the back and the black on black on black is a black symbol on the big rubber stamp yeah but hey that's a lady I got two pieces of answer pair of sandals you need ferragamos stay in the car because we gotta wait for the Jailer oh Ferragamo okay good for you guys like that excuse me they go oh they think you're gonna give a compliment I go excuse me oh yes are those sharing almost yeah you're an idiot oh these are fans look my last name even if the last name is Evans should be I'm looking for a logo right now for my company I'm thinking about doing like an e remember the Vans had a left kind of amp the thing that shot out but the end of the thing with the shot out and then the other way is Steve Vance that's my symbol oh you gotta go to Squarespace and pay 80 a month and uh pull out some money get some uh snapshots it's someone else maybe they've got some artists on there they're not getting paid here's some free ones and then they got this logo here that's free just take a seat you can upgrade for thirty dollars still I could do it myself dude I can do with a pair of crayons and take the snapshot of it Galaxy S21 Pro that's what I have apple apple I love what Joe Rogan is like dude that's 21 Pro sick from Samsung with the Google open API which means it's not proprietary oh Apple customers how quickly you forgot remember when they pulled your pants down and you oh the firmware slows down the hardware we're fortunate upgrading on my surfboard sitting like I'm catching away with no thing on but a pair of boardies my channels and my watches some kid which I do I'm I do these things he's crazy the samples were 30 bucks to watch my soon viviance gave me and I don't even like the watch if you got me two others I like better so that's just my backup to the backup watch yeah if I see a poor guy he's almost hey dude take this you know more mongers okay start a war with well what stage of Russia versus Ukraine war and get Joe uh you know sleepy Joe's ratings on it's on stage I'm like man and the Super Bowl looks like a Hollywood film it's all EVS Snoop Dogg and Drake obviously they want to be there like but even though they walked in this dude are we really buying into this man yeah oh no that's National why it was a big deal six two weeks ago without she was actually involved in the Wuhan lab I bet he was the best in Amazon too Amazon did well Netflix hey I guarantee they use a sister or cousin to buy the stocks so if you follow the trail it doesn't lead to them how about Trump he pays more paid more less less taxes the average American so everyone's like are you a super no I don't like any of them they're all greases politicians I believe Bob Marley you have to take yoga and go to the gym no I'll go for a surf or Escape or a ride on my bike I'll put my I don't even have the racks for my bike anymore I broke them I grabbed the surfboard around it like a cute little surfboard that it is it's soft and I ride the bike man it's got a half throttle on the right I don't even want it dude it's like I don't know man I'm the wrong guy I'm the bad guy just put your butt down on the seat for me please crucify Me Like Jesus Christ kill me like Bob Marley you I'm not going down like that man no 42nd dude do you know the in that 222 oh that's not significant I heard people are getting married on 222-22 people are starting businesses it's going to be one of the biggest days in the stock Market oh yeah I'm not gonna be using have a good time and have people I'm around at the truckers because I'm stoked on them and I got regular music and I'm blowing clouds because I'm sure they sell the plastic you take a puff of that product that's blown clouds out the sunroom playing Sean Paul yep arrest that man that's what it's time to dude so you make a decision who your foes and Follies are man yeah I can be your friend but you know what you want to believe this you're my phone don't go you know that's how I believe what I saw look at your time and you know that's the only time I get to fight but when someone like telling this kind of and they look at me they're still a zombie there's a bad Expendables Santa Cruz had a song called zombies in America and that's what they're talking about like you're just a zombie dude you don't get it and you're coming at me you're a man in Zombie I told a guy that one night don't punch at me I said thank you for throwing the punch dude because my dad taught me early on when they throw the punch at self-defense so I came up off the floor because I had to get on the floor to Mark as much and I brought an uppercut from Florida and I didn't look oh that's illegal that's assault the guy assaulted me why don't you stick around for the cops to come because he'll probably lie yeah deal and all but here are local here dude there's too many people here man there's so many cars come in it's a Wednesday 10 in the morning yeah where are they coming from dude so quiet we'll just say in the back of that hat uh respect the group oh have you report a guy over with that pelagic stick figure and respect the ocean that's a dopest hat you'll see ever yeah look at my favorite combo and punchyrolled by conglomer instead of the Italy hey can I come up with mine these products and you're standing in Italy on it and it's inferior and you're polarized somebody's heart because I grab some kind of sunflowers not yet but these these polarized Gucci's don't have anything like Michael I put one on a guy we can't go upstairs over there mm-hmm put your butt down oh just nuts oh it's a freak he's working for these companies it's all evil look it up it's all evil let's put your butt down yeah dude that's weird I threw a guy peace it's a universal sign dude you're at the beach in Mercedes yeah man I know who you are so I call him out I take the Heat this weird music on oh you're listening Megan the stallion Jay-Z sellout Beyonce we used to Sean Paul She didn't do something with them no Sean Paul couldn't get that what are you talking about Kingpin in Jamaica they're not gonna print it oh I think the Joe Rogan but dude you can't say this one I know Joe I know you're soft now I know I know you don't Surfer fish do you think English and he probably couldn't sing and Bob Marley songs maybe if it was a legend he could see Bobby on my boss Legends they come to me at the bars yo dude it's not my fault that I'm six foot 255 10 and good looking and your girlfriend's checking me out dude like check your check dude [Music] because they know what's right for him I'll I get like this oh it's a posse all right all right buddy so listen you're gonna do one inning get the out of my face and you know what and then I'm gonna buy you a drink yeah number five you notice I just keep a little bit of cash that's the kind of something I'll even refuse a fight or give it to somebody I don't have cash these four people I don't have it I just have cards oh you made two trillion a year probably Elon musk's daughter when give a homeless person I even threw it out of the car didn't I don't care about us I hope someone find it I look so much fun they're walking into town instead of driving and spreading their knocks and carving on outside poisoning That's why I drive a hybrid of those cars and I get 41 miles on the count and it's cool and it's got the Lexus paint Pearl and it's limited and it's sick and it's efficient and it was cheap I bought it for 32k cash out of Virginia is Virginia's cheaper than California for the market car durables because they have cute little boxes I had Toyota certified because I wanted some certified because otherwise I'd break down but I was clever certified oh I bought it from a dealership called Lustine Toyota they should leave a program Mr Evans if you pay cash cash 32 today that's what they said we have lesser Bud on the seat for Life the power trains covered for Life dude no nice I'm never showing I'm not kidding you I have the paperwork they go you buy your car today I said send me the paperwork they sent me this document I have an attorney look at me said dude these guys are like if you do all all your Toyota uh uh maintenance through a dealer they're carrying your weight from I don't know it's a 100 deductible and you're gonna bring it to them uh what's it to transport my training goes getting on one of those sites uh you you ship.com let the truckers bid on my car 400 bucks you ask them to fix it for 100. you're gonna get 17 you can go 85 without pissing off the cop that thing's fast enough dude it's got so much low end torque loaders in the 2.8 liter four-cylinder engine in the front I don't charge it the things can stay I wish every one of you guys would drive it until the chief you know what we should upgrade it's a thermometer so they can take your temperature it's a thermometer how do I know man it's a thermometer okay when they come out of the car just go boom I got an air transplant face the door I'm admitting this nobody would tell you guys this nobody nobody on Earth can you see the commercials right oh blah blah it's true I got hair transplants yeah I did I was losing my hair at 30. huh his deal it's a month I was losing my hair at 30. for five thousand dollars I got a full head of hair all right and I'm like I don't want to use Rogaine for seven years I'm just gonna take care of this thing you know I luckily I had the loop you know hey I got three pairs of sandals take one for your kids I'll cut it over those sunglasses give them the when your officer so he's got polarized lenses mineral polarized lenses and they look cool take the Oakleys off why they're owned by luxottia Brands Ray-Ban Gucci Louis Vuitton uh um [Music] it says please save Wikipedia they're trying to take us off the internet [Music] 200 bucks is verifiable you're trying to take the best most unbiased source I've been using for 10 years plus on the internet and that's when I realized I need to come down here but here I have to stay the top station dude but I should be in a pool if you're gonna pina colada because it's not legal when you're in a pool sitting on a surfboard and smoking a big product because at that point it doesn't matter how high I am because I'm going to fall on my board get wet and go to bed you're gonna talk to me everybody pull me over you know what do you have any foreign substances no do you have any tobacco gum anything left open open your mouth open your mouth you have anything in your mouth open your mouth no open your mouth wide all right I don't think opioids I sell stuff that puts it underneath put them out of business hey do yourself a favor you additional DJ to pay no woman to cry every day for all the clubs here they have to play Marley and I'll be Marvin there will be many fights and guys don't get sick if they'll come down here I'll actually make it the staff Jive okay I can tell they're in on it it's like yeah I know you guys are you know who's going to win I watch the game I'm like I used to watch the Eagles when they're good you know my Dad had a season tickets Colonial Tire Service look at it it's on there 1980 no 1977. and he sold it in 1993 when I graduated for a mint yeah he retired went down to caveman New Jersey he just chilled out he passed away from the 70 degrees healthy and had a good time when I saw it happen my dad passed he looked at me said Ted it doesn't matter I said what no pain I said what does matter he says leave life to the fullest and I was you know I could see him one more time and he just smiled at me and then he was gone so I started Living by dude that's my mantra you know no Teddy No Cry you just call me Teddy Theodore Ted Theo people put some Odell beings you wouldn't eat dispensaries Rhonda Sanders would be happy yo Ron we will keep the medical ones going and we won't make it legal just say to Texas and in California in Colorado we don't need to make it legal because we get this Delta 8 it's better and we'll just sell that in the convenience stores about the state the corrupt you know I like wrong you know what whatever it's time again over there yeah I'm here and it's my birthday that I don't care I really don't give a fine my shirt I feel like Jesus I think he was like you know cheers that'll tell you that church they can't even I'm opponent the dude was crucified he would have looked at the guy on the cross man the holes in his eyes oh yeah because it was a desert and there's vultures there how do you know I've been to the Desert California I've been to San Bernardino at a reggae show um I've seen the things so yeah you can't cook a religion it doesn't matter I say I'm independent like the truck's on my skateboard what what's in it there's a company NFL so yeah I don't give a and then I say that song I'm calling the curse well they throw fish at me you know I jump in the pool half the time they'd never come into pool after me I noticed that at the bars and clubs I go come on the pool mother and I dive into accountable girl hanging out their girlfriend I'm gonna pull that guy's nuts and if I can go off and have a drink and I sit in the pool now our girlfriend's eyeballing me and I was like dude football game you didn't have a all right [Music] soft Wheels yeah everyone's driving their cars playing bass and try to get chicks oh you can't see her a couple towns in the US running man skateboarding remember all the skate companies my people skateboarding is not crime Dropship magazines of course we rebelled you can't skateboarded but you can write a 10 speed bike all right and we had a boardwalker Daniel Peterson cracks it or go head over heels guys sit down they come up on the back yeah are you gonna provide yourself guys so please man oh my brother wait yeah yeah I told you hey you'll find that in there uh CBD I actually forgot about what I did you guys so I'm like yeah I bought it from the Habib shop down the street uh I'm like I can't remember if it was Homestead or on the island I don't mind him I don't know I was like I got the cards I can deny it I guess that's you I'm like no the guy gave you these and I'm like what's this head up I'm done I'm gonna die no so the recipe for that he's false impersonating himself yeah I'm gonna give your ID again give me some evidence it just didn't flip it over the car s yeah you know Warren he said go ahead and search it because everything in there is a little away he's got big products he's got Delta a candies and bass multiple colors cute and your girl hey three weeks he got married she won't know it's not here right and your phone battery died you're not supposed to feel again so that's true that's exactly for marriage I'm a dude you can't say that the girls on the program here let's go to the home for a minute I mean what am I supposed to do now get off of me let me call you guys up we're paying where you're driving right now I'm married yeah these guys to the court system and thanks for the kids actually I don't know I need the guy's best friend man I'm gonna get that 52 and everything is everybody I had no kids because they want the stress aggravation and the disappointment but then with the three divorcism I'm going with you too I'm like okay does it make much sense to me either dad lost a lot of money Los pan Terrace BMW one of his houses 13 meter Trojan vote yeah this is what it's cracked up to me they get your kids to stop giving you cheat on them business [Music] I don't know his music blow blow you're gonna keep going keep going all right stop you're feeling better water yeah spear fishing all right I live in the Treasure Coast and why because Jupiter sticks out golf stream runs through there there's treasure there yeah I do have over here I've done anything about a watch but I know somebody found they probably SAS points because they go to the cricket stores they're like oh hey at this point here two thousand dollars I'll get mine man I'll get mine yeah I'll find a Coin maybe I'll send it to you guys oh you guys are cool how about this is hybrid it's all-wheel drive you're 42 miles in a gallon if you start back on bike rack them and then the back oh three dealers are like oh yeah trailer hitch it's called me 1200 22 000. my buddy says dude you need me to someone who's calling U-Haul I said what that is stupid of us I'm not that smart that's the thing like oh I'm smart I'm not so these guys are quoting me they're gonna send me paperwork I'm gonna do you know compare three and make a decision I was gonna pay twelve hundred homie took me off so I go I call a you all hey this is how I moved here I said hey man how much for going to wrap for a hybrid talk to 2020 blah blah blah that's 200 bucks I said shut up dude all right uh we gotta Comics right now we're not busy does everyone coming in 20 coming in the bill was 120. coming out they bought a drink first one before the chipboard that same bike now is 14.99 for free I don't want for being my girlfriend there's 1200 Pop clean there was no other money on top of that that was including taxes two bikes shipping included came to my house 85 built I use the pill finder BMX bikes dirt bikes now bikes and I put it together remember she thought I was great 100 bucks thanks government you know I'd like you guys what would you like I asked him but where's your 1200 singular Check and Go that they gave everybody [Music] yeah Philadelphia your birth results are 0.000 on both examples would you be willing to provide a sample of urine yeah dude I gotta piss anyway I got all the equipment look at the car you can take my iPad for a ride yeah one of the best places [Music] zombies in America by The Expendables we've got zombies in America and we got zombies [Music] eating freeze dude check this out Jupiter Seafood Festival this Saturday this one might leave Yahoo and Jesse Wood from Jamaica free show on the beach Carwin Park won by the lighthouse [Music] the kids get in free they're gonna have food trucks they can buy my bike it [Music] listen yeah when you go in there you're a single week we'll have a good day let's just tell me them listen yeah when you go there urinate yeah eat in this cup right and then you can probably sit on this uh what do you mean you're all night I can see about a minute I'm sorry I'll just dreaming of uh my freedom tomorrow you know give me uh hey how about this are you guys have options instead of the tickets look at Trump the deal hey how did this guy go ahead I'll sleep in here I'll do it step out of the cell don't sit on that bench right there in the corner garage just wiggle the mouse and then hit stop and then put your face number um then I asked it to get him to stop talking was almost impossible um he consented to do field sobriety exercises uh where the stop was made okay Mr Evans take a seat okay okay um all right where was I um Mr Evans Mr Evans Mr Evans please okay live like that just like it does stay quiet for a moment please okay please just stay quiet for a moment he said don't go against the grade they don't like that um so I asked him if he would consent to feel sobriety exercises he said he would um because where we were at we were like between Mangrove Mamas and Crane Boulevard it wasn't good to do fscs so I took them up to the turn lane for Crane Boulevard he got out still said they were doing um I started with nystagmus when I would start because I would tick like he had one tick in each eye but then hey take a seat Mr Evans I think I said okay just stay right there you're like holy holy cheese there's a water fountain right here can he drink any water yeah right here right here um he had the Vape then he had um some gummies the water fountain is right there there's a bowl all right go ahead and just take a seat here's what happened I got in my car smoked me out and left his bowl all right so go take a seat that's what happened so but I don't care I'll take the hit or any right now put the meter kick it um and then they said there was a bunch of gummies like uh CBD gummies okay um I know who's having a good day so it escalated my height for sure I'm the same way like yeah this chair leave your family and come over here like what the you stayed unified Russian I'm not buying it man I don't know what to do I'm trying to raise the ratings the Nielsen ratings oh I watched my uh my phone in my car there's little cute videos when they play stick figure sound of the sea wishing I was fishing and that makes me feel good took a couple possibility I'm in jail how can I call you sir Theodore Theo Ted Teddy Ted okay you're gonna be like I don't care whatever you like me in high school I was theater then I was Ted then I was Theodore my mom called me for her and tell you when I'm in trouble I mean my girlfriend calls me Ted and then sometimes Teddy if I'm nice I mean it doesn't matter what theater Theo theology means of the Gods it's Greek yeah so my first name theaters Evans is Welsh okay can you stop for a second yeah I'm just telling you it's my heritage full 23 and ancestry I know where I'm glad that told me hey Theodore yeah start listening can you understand me sir yeah you don't have the issue to understand me but for some reason because for my accent we have a hard time to understand me let me know I'm gonna be more than the 30 countries in Europe okay turkey the Greek Islands Geo Santorini making us and that post people I know history okay Bob Marley says in this great future you can't forget your past okay listen to me okay I'm working for a Monroe County Sheriff's Office okay what does that mean what what it means that whenever we have uh people who are driving and they are impaired driving driving no uh take this test and whenever they blow and I just want to be in the pool whatever they blow like a below the subject you know so I can find out on the water yeah yeah yeah I want to get through this because let me guess I'll get through this quicker I'm out around I stay all right okay I get the point so let me ask you this question so uh would you like to take the trash influence evaluation with me what is that well basically we're gonna repeat some exercises which he already did okay and I'm gonna check your posts I'm gonna check your uh blood pressure because this stuff is heavy I mean maybe I'm yeah okay yeah yeah I like that all right so so observations how's the food here so so you're willing to take this uh yeah all right my dad's name man is just anybody with us with a gun he's listening I said okay are they fine I wanna with them did you eat today yeah I had a smoothie and I had some collagen in the smoothie and some protein with greens and a little bit of Ginger grind it up so just a smoothie right yeah just a smoothie and then I had half a coffee cold brew home pressed okay I had the coffee at four I had the smoothie at 4 15. I was at the door at five that's how I got down here from Jupiter in an efficient manner because there wasn't many people on the road on a Wednesday at that time and I can listen to my reggae and people weren't bothering me and yelling at me oh he's crazy so I like traveling at night in the early mornings the best time to travel before they get up okay who's staying at the zombies what have you been drinking today I had some water in my Yeti and then I had two extra Waters as well in plastic which kills me because that's just killing the Earth so I drank the water that was in there tap that out stopped poured one every time I take a stop I take and it's a big yeti so I took the two Plastics poured it in there was looking for a recycle bin there wasn't I got mad I crushed them I was pissed yeah he was full of water I drank a lot of water it's empty you saw that okay so you anything all I'm going you have to drink today it's water right smoothie water and a half a cold pressed coffee that makes no sense but it is it does make sense I feel like the Delta eight made of caused me to drive a little faster and a little bit more haphazardly so you can yeah that's what he told you that's what that's the definition Google I mean yeah yes officer I'm guilty for being impaired but it was it was a CBD base uh legal Farm Bill 2018 I sell the product and I'm like and but it's impairing but not that much enough to make me silly is that wrong like I just want to go ahead and pull on my server he knows what I want I told him 20 times he's like dude I'm not blame you but I'll go through the paces yeah what time is it now I don't know what I've been watching on my phone give me a message my estimate would be noon noon when did you last sleep last night last night yes I went to bed at eight I watched the office fell asleep Michael and Jim they're cool guys why do you like working from home you know it was like the office I'd worked there but unfortunately it's not a bunch of people come over your shoulder you know when I get in here secretary I don't have anything to do with it how long did you sleep uh I need eight and a half so I slept eight and a half eight and a half hours that's my minimums I try to get 999 oh you only need a date I'm like nine and a half to ten are you a secret injury but eight and a half some cool I am not sure you can give me one of those tongue depressors and shove a thermometer yes I believe you I mean I'm running hot I'm in Florida you know had a sunroof open are you ready listen physically you know I have to answer yeah you can't just go oh I assume he's great yeah I danced okay now you have no elements I have one cut here from a reef that's it all right all right I have a separated shoulder just follow my questions are you diabetic or happy no I am not sir no my blood pressure blood pressure you throwing hot I started taking apple cider vinegar do you take himself no no okay look I took an ashwagandha of red cider vinegar a biotin a daily vitamin from uh whatever the brand is doesn't matter Nature's made I don't care it's a daily vitamin candy coated I popped all those half a coffee brushed my teeth did a shot in Listerine packed everything up the cars packed the bike was a lot of work gotta popped the racks on then the bike strap that down get the board in the car pack the bags get that in the car I took Seven Trips okay so what's wrong with your knees this is a a reef I'm with the pipeline oh yeah you got to be Pro so what type of do you need I think I bounced off the reef at pipeline I got a slice I've got stitches but he's just a cat yeah it was minor there I'm like I covered it up so you don't have that lifeguard showed over here what happened pipeline where's that don't go there why you'll die oh no it doesn't happen yeah about 40 guys have died you can shoved under a reef caverns and you can't get out yeah I surfed there I hit the reef I got out of the water and I never served there again I'm serious exactly what happened I don't wanna certain places like that what's going on with your shoulder these guys are sure for Mavericks oh my God pay attention whale sharks pay attention to me and I got the separated shoulder that was snowboarding at Mammoth Mountain California there was a white out so I'm at the top all of a sudden unforeseen circumstances storm rolls in I can't see a God thing I got Dragon goggles my buddy were for Dragon they're supposed to have this orange thing tint that didn't help I couldn't see a guy thing I'm charging down the mountain because I'm pretty confident and there's a bump out of nowhere pop me up and toss me out of my shoulder all I felt was heat I knew I was up there was no first date where they couldn't see either in snowmobiles even with the little lights I know I stopped on my board and I came down the mountain and I found a first aid and they said yeah there's nothing to do about it all the hockey players have it oh well here let's strap you at the shot me up I couldn't snowboard for six weeks or Surf and um I think I smoked a lot of pot and laid around the house and no advice oh it's cannabis oh well I said the dispensaries can make money you can tax them and all of a sudden you your the Cannabis industry that you kill Peter Tosh and Bob Marley over now you're making money off it no they never tried to kill Peter Tosh and Bob yeah see the documentaries they try to shoot Bob and they shot Peter shot him up but nobody knew about it no why because they made sense I don't know about that why not yeah are you taking any stimulants I haven't had a Red Bull I haven't had an energy I don't like any energy beverages at all I take Botanicals have you heard of botanic tonics no it's a kava Kratom Botanical now it's very popular look up botanic tonics I haven't had one but it's on my list apparently it's a Botanical beverage it's an alpha it's an energy caffeine and alcohol replacement it gives a Euphoria takes care of chronic pain it tastes good why isn't it everywhere alcohol is legal tobacco is legal oxes are legal need I say more I don't believe it's all right remember that public in the song Don't Believe The Heights I was like yeah dude I know what you're trying to say here time is yeah I think I'm like something I'm good I'm still good standofficials like you know what you're not bad but you could lose some readers I'm gonna give you that blue stuff so I mean look at strange your eyes don't get burned out I'm like I'll take it out it's an extra 20 bucks I paid 200 for two pairs a nine-year-old male Stanton Optical yeah they didn't charge you for the eye exam I'm like good deal I'm all about saying I have to go do a commercial for him I don't need celebrity royalties the glasses work they're great they're 200 bucks okay you can't tell anyone that why they were good Versace Versace remember the dumb blonde movie first I like Versace I mean I realize like that's what it is what's the word around and the first time needs nothing Hey listen to me I'm gonna check your boobs okay please can you can you give me your left hand side press it here I slowed my country and I'm no longer a patriot I want to be an expat Panama Costa Rica Belize you see these house Hunter shows I'm like Jesus I think about leaving here actually there was a ferry here that went to um to the islands like Dominican is pretty close I would take Key West Ferry to Dominican with my car the way it's packed with everything I need it's been a couple months over there my laptop my phone go for dip every day I don't need anything I already have it they don't have anything yes I do it's called minimalism less is more that doesn't make sense ah you remember when you met me I wasn't happy now I'm not happy because I'm just I'm pissed I'm frustrated dude I'm good but I have to candy coat it like in the Catholics you know I told you Jesus said vultures oh yeah he was still looking no they him up man because they thought he was a freak he's bipolar he's talking the right things and it's against the Roman rule and the Jews are like you better kill them all right man oh you have to go to church or to be Pious Dude That's My Sanctuary pay attention to me okay black shark oh yeah you look cool actually vanities yeah I like this yeah dude can you can you keep staying okay it says okay yeah keep looking at it all the time the divot yeah I was solid dude but I would still not like to take my car I can call AAA hey I picked this thing up hey usually do slash my tire I call these yeah I'm flat tire we had no I'm talking to the island okay take there for free car sits there with a flat tire scoot around on my bike and skateboard and when I'm ready to go call Triple A and how do you hear it all right it's not hard I don't need the car take the car I don't need your tow trucks and deal yeah stand up hey you move here okay man I'm dizzy dude yeah you gotta stay over there you have any water the cells looked up parched I'm just Florida guy man assault life man Vitamin Water I don't care whatever you got I don't care as long as alcohol in it I won't be in Paris give me a pina colada without this piss as they say in Australia without the piss Pizza what's that I think it's a mocktail watch a girl's all known [Music] does it cost me anything bartender's like uh that'll cost you 10 bucks there's no alcohol he says no we have to charge it I'm the sober driver hey no you can have it hey yeah man I just did a concert no take it just stand over there so why are you looking over there when you talk to yourself why are you looking why you look in the wild imagination runs wild I don't know okay all right just move closer to me please yes sir wow whoa holy that was cool man who cares kill each other all right it makes sense we have more exercises to do can you stand up this is so silly dude I laugh I'm like why is this really real I pinched myself wake me up yeah do you know how long is 30 seconds yeah one two three okay I do cash release of Marlins and swordfish but if I get a selfish don't team so how long was that how long was 30 seconds how did you estimate it old school analog I'm used to hear him okay yeah so you were watching the clock in your um we're on the line sorry I'm getting silly okay vertical horizontal cross diagonal you can stand over there right so we're gonna yes okay so you already did it on the road okay you're gonna be walking on the line can I take out the flops that's one of my questions they're Advanced flops I would never do that okay good you can do this in the free Plus or how many steps be patient I'm gonna give you only instructions okay sir hey why are you walking you're gonna You're Gonna Keep Your Hands Down on your side all the time you're gonna out loud every step okay and you're gonna look at your feet okay yeah did you understand it yeah I've seen charging machine dropped in so I don't face begging nine Uno foreign it's my birthday is 22 22. George Washington's birthday was February 22nd President's Day is the day for my birthday I just want to have a good time I told my boss I'm sick I think I have the coveted stealth variant what's that about it it actually does exist he said okay take some time off all right I came out of here did you understand all the instructions Sarah so he's standing on the left stop pressure on the luck six inches right about there six hours after anything why holding this position it's good okay yeah when I you look at it okay and you're gonna count out loud in the following one or one doesn't want what does it do what doesn't spree one doesn't work four but one more time one thousand one 1002 1003 one thousand four one thousand and someone what is the stock Infinity and I'm gonna tell you where the integer I'm gonna tell you when okay stop let's go I'm ready to pop the stop candle out loud I can hear you you can't see come on I'll get out 2001 1002 one thousand three one thousand four one thousand five one thousand six one thousand seven nine ten eleven no difference stop do I bring them up at the same time or do you want to kind of Mark remember when I say left you're gonna use your left index finger you're not gonna say right you're gonna use your right not together not at the same time that's not gonna impress you no it's not gonna be he's gonna make it much worse all right and while you're doing so You're Gonna Keep Your Hands uh you're gonna keep your eyes closed and the head slightly tip to the back okay like we did before okay it's no problem so uh close your eyes okay keep your head back left you can open your eyes bye see the light man I need some sun this will look up in the sky be on my back and that's it I'll go from there start off just hey who's the best beach and go there I check out the rookie towel and put it down deal cut the shirt pick up the sailors and just relax and meditate and then that's all it's gonna do later okay take a seat it's wrong it's uh it's too mellow okay well Bob Marley had a song called Mellow Mood I liked it let's get one out of Legends no he actually had about 50. the song Peter Tosh and then McGregor came down this thing with Peter toss you don't know that song either but you know who the stones are you just paid 700 for the ticket Peter Tosh got killed by the Jamaican government see I had to win The Shot Bob he said he didn't give a out of cancer he wouldn't take the medication he didn't believe in Pharmaceuticals he died he's a prophet they try to shoot Peter and they got him I was exciting a song called Legalize It no marijuana's legal and I'm thinking we are gonna we're gonna measure Peter's turning in his grave man the eagle live hey yeah you're gonna measure your body then that has to go under your phone under your tongue okay so don't cheer on it you can open your eyes you don't have to have your eyes close it and keep it on don't talk for a second okay so you can measure you can you can keep it in hand if it's easier for you yeah we're gonna repeat this open it it just feels trash that I didn't read you were talking okay 96.3 there's a song by third row 96 degrees breathe hot in the they call third world why in third world have a good time they have a song called third world 96 degrees the shade because it's 96 I have to get the shade with the nerve hanging on the beach girls in bikinis having a good time not listening to the book that we listen to in this country which is all trash they're white trash trash white w2f WTF now means what the welcome to Florida now go home you don't belong here because we were here first but then this guy deserves to be here because he's not like them and I like them okay we're gonna put it under your tongue don't talk okay and I keep it like you know keep it like this all the time you can hold it this time yes I think that was the problem okay yeah hold it crap I won't lie have we seen you guys in high school get in the car you see him at school the next day then laugh about it I'll take the corner child support I'll take your kids out I'll say you were crazy and hit me and send you the prison that's great Are You Gonna Change liability involved uh I'm cool like hey man I got a hand man I'm stuck PornHub 10 minutes in the bathroom I'm solid man you know let's open toilet paper I'm good I don't even need the phone it's using my mind one time oh great I got the cheerleader check oh yeah okay jerk off done okay no liability great I don't like apple I don't like their phone I have an Android Samsung Galaxy just like Joe Rogan it's a better phone no I love my Apple remember they're like we're Apple we're admitting that we actually make the software incompatible with the firmware so the phones off Celeste you have to get a new one and you're still buying them oh that's called predatory business practices yeah but they're still in business all right well I won't be buying any apple look at my car I've got Bose headphones Samsung TV Samsung phone I'm gonna get a Google Chromebook is that even more open than I hate Microsoft next phone pixel next laptop Chrome Lenovo Chrome Dell chrome doesn't matter it's open face oh yeah apple runs on proprietary architecture they make you buy them oh it's great sucking your Apple put a sticker on your car no I'm not buying it why because it doesn't make sense Dwight True what I realize you can't sell salesman because we sell you so you can't sell a sales guy I I I should be the interviewer I should be for Trump sell me something sell me a pencil I remember my first interview guys show me a picture I saw it to him in five minutes one of the benefits it's cool and it writes what more do you need to know okay you've got the job at T 1993 right out of college you're gonna measure your blood pressure cable and wireless who were they the English company that had all the cables the transatlantic cables Cable wireless they came over 18t crushed them I only had to compete with Sprint and MCI who were they no one knew like your win back AE what's that mean we give you database we show you everyone who left for Sprint MCI you call them tell them you're going to match their rates and to bring them back to ATT but only if you have to we're going to sell this other program I didn't sell the other program I called every company in Wilmington Delaware and you can't do that you small business you can only phone book who are you with yeah okay so that's your rage when you come back to ATT and I'll be the guy you call and I'll answer my phone and if anything happens they say well I want you to look at my bill I went to look at their bill MCI and Sprint around into the whole minute the ATT is a 30 second well they're giving me you know 12 cents a minute I said I'm gonna give you 12. but I'm gonna show you something else they were after the full minute and I'm 30 seconds so you call a guy say you hang up 30 seconds it's yeah beautiful minute they go oh Wireless before Southwestern Bell on ATT let's first say the capital letters and I work from ATT Corporation Bell joined up with uh Patel Andy Bells we're joining together what was it what was the message right it's just convoluted and they have the lowercase ATT nuts Capital ATT I don't care ATT Stock's 25 bucks why apples they do splits I like Apple Google oh they're over three thousand dollars so we're gonna do a 21 split then we'll tell you when get on Robin Hood every day split dude so there's Google splits 24. buy as much as I can buy it off Google put it in my IRS so it's tax if I can deferred oh he's in Social Security he's robbing the government do you know the Social Security disabilities called insurance and look at your paycheck you pay into it so I'm not stealing from anybody dude I deserve the 25.50 a month in Medicare he's talking about I do it's like oh he's manic yeah he's he needs help man but he's a celebrity little off okay I got any professional help it's obvious no one wants to help him he's a celebrity he'll help himself no help the guy man he'll probably end up killing the guy he'll say Bill Clinton did it XYZ down to the island he's gone silenced Silence of the Lambs good games don't look up like there's one High Point Break Breakfast Club they all got along yeah it makes sense they clap the teacher yeah it's a good time man good time to be alive the 70s 80s and 90s it all you know what it was my dad said he said the pendulum is Switched it's tilted I said what do you mean that 911 he says that was pollution sir hours man whatever man make some friends I know this guy will probably hang out with me yeah so that's all I made a friend great amazing friend perfect it's worth it I'll spend a weekend to make a friend I spent a year to make a friend there's no friends anymore I said you know what there's my family and then there's acquaintances and there's three levels in the Queens this runs on the Spectrum I don't have friends neither do you oh I do I'll get jailed up they will put money in the books they won't come visit you and they will call you a criminal when you get out and they won't hire you no they're my friends watch happen to me I feel bad for these guys they got nothing when they call you guys put them out he came in Barefoot naked send him out I remember these cops like you have to leave right now I'm like dude I got new shoes leave it's winner get out I had a t-shirt shorts and no shoes in a blizzard get out you oh get out of here Evan so never come back okay but I ran across the street he jumped in a hotel called my mom in a hotel room weddings I was over it I don't really care yeah whatever I don't blame him there's most guys are scum packs okay I need something nobody picked me up though I swear my dad was in there because he was in the hospital all right an attorney called my dad left my voicemail my dad didn't get he was in the hospital I literally came out of Delaware County Jail and a pair of flip-flops get out snowstorm but there's a hotel concentrated right across the street with for traffic it all worked out I thought my father came up the next day but I need to take a blood pressure you know it taught me something you're gonna need to take your blood pressure yeah this is not you know bacteria oh okay I'm jealous is it's alive just rest your arm here okay can you uh stop talking I'll try so I can measure your blood pressure yeah I'm just fired up man yeah I can tell see 22 22. just can you make it like for one minute without I'll do whatever prolonging the nightmare like they did with their masks Conformity growing up I had a leather jacket I took a paint pen silver paint pen Corrosion of Conformity had a big uh but I know I'm like nobody can form s they wonder why people robbed and stuff people can wear a mask oh a mask a hoodie and a pair of sunglasses run into a store grab everything we've got them on camera you're not going to see them that's where your mask got yeah nope then we'll do it why because they're paying the bills paying the campaigns journalists judges they're all bought and paid for it I'm not buying it no there's people yell at me it can't be true yeah it's all just a joke dude how could yeah I'm not working right now I'm surfing you're crazy you can't do that make kids and pay your bills and mortgages also the fed's cooling rates wow rates are going up okay well guys like I put five five percent down I actually faked up my like we're staying in a nice place in Tequesta Ryan Billings owns our place my girlfriend's like we need to buy a place we don't have to move I said no you know watch this mortgage guys I need to get pre-qualified I want to shop for a house I'm gonna put five percent down or ten percent down for me I said five measured um 90 seconds hey what's my rate because you know you lock in you know 30-year fixed in the house I didn't know my wife was gonna cheat on me and drag me to the court system and now I'm almost there oh they win you lose yourself what are you talking about where do you think it goes Mr Robbins how many shoes you got three how many flip flops what about the other shoes I don't see it right over here what are you gonna do if you go out to dinner are you going to question dude we don't wear shoes guys running around bare feet pulling shorts fishing gear yeah the place is pretty hip but don't tell anybody because then they come in they it up drive around Range Rovers honking at me thank you Mercedes almost ran over me I got my board it's windy I'm trying to control my board I varied a little bit he comes at me like I'm doing something wrong wrong I'm like flipped them off I bet he called the cops or some crazy man with a surfboard on an electric bike clicked me off in my Mercedes-Benz and I gave you guys 20 grand last year to uh Chief so and so it's your mom paying for it too I see the Jupiter in like awesome you guys are security guards man I've been in that neighborhood Cooper Island your security guards Hope Sound security guards so you know whatever Martin Sheriff's cool they're pretty good uh pull me Sarah so cool what's the cost is the best though security guys I go yeah they go okay pretty cool why do you live in the quest yeah that's fine you don't live in Palm Beach I'm getting old guys nope nope no you're not it's all I'm 52 man old is psychological More Than Physical okay living proof let me check your muscle from okay you want me to make a muscle no I know anyone are you just I don't go to the gym I just I built like this all right how do you get strong i surf skate snowboard ride bikes and do push-ups in the morning in my Courtyard what about the gym I don't like it like the insurance pays 40 a month for my thing so I got one I haven't been here once Planet Fitness I got the gold card I've been there once I get a flex pick up girls no I'd rather surf I mean it's free I don't care you're not injecting anything right no I don't that's why I'm saying yeah sometimes just assume no you don't assume what's the zoom stand for makes ass out of you and me I don't assume and I like you for not assuming I appreciate it so we're gonna measure your I'm gonna measure your puss again last this last boost I know it's my accent I know I'm doing my best dude yes you're solid dude yeah relax just you're super bad man I love Polish people Nazis on one front Russians American Germans great Brits Australia's invading in Africa South Africa there's apartheid but I'll show you couldn't leave your house you know what I'll go to Bimini with my car oh you can't ship that over there yeah you can find a shipping company drive up onto the boat look at all my hang out huh you can't do that why you should be home with the kids and the pets and the this is and the Nets and the making of this hey XYZ company I work for the monster group who's that they're going to drop you some samples my business card will be in it three Slater they get samples but the cards in it they tried this it works I'm getting the inbound call I'm sitting engine so it's true you watch the office true Michael Schrute Jim it's the best show on Earth black guy hanging up nobody cares they found a joint in the parking lot sure it's like I wants to rescue it was a play on words there was a joint what's your problem Michael's like problem it's a half a joke okay he's good he's on The Cisco phone I work for ATT they're like why did ATT go out of business because Cisco came around and said we don't need Two Jacks we'll plug one phone into the one Jack you won't need this separate wiring system or the pbxs and the separate telephone cables we'll run it over the Internet who's out of business gets sold in Southwestern Bell buys bactel lowercase a T and T now they're big at T they make money on the cell phones 5G 5G is harmful I don't need it 4G was fine I like 3G I like the flip phones when you can just text people hey you we should do upside down letters and be creative oh I'm gonna stare at my screen all day I got my cell phone and my tablet and then when I go home I got six computers and six screens and at work I got 20 and then on the plane I got a screen and you're looking at screens all day I mean how is that fun all right I'm almost done what are people going nuts they're getting screened all day you're gonna get it's gonna affect your mentality man the kids are affected by the Madison School I took a class called non-verbal Communications dyadic Communications non-verbals are more important than verbals I am you want to finish it [Applause] yes sir but you said that you know it messed you up that you should definitely right yeah I mean there should be repercussions I mean give me a ticket it can't be more than a misdemeanor I'll pay the ticket I got my credit card pay it let me go I admit I was slightly yeah I was slightly not inebriated correct yeah I'll take it so how did they affect you you smoke too much you're gonna come back to court I live in Florida yeah answer my question okay have you been uh you've been smoking when you were driving down to Cuba no I stopped at a rest stop took a piss uh-huh it was one of the gas stations on Key West when I first got over the bridge I don't remember when you stop in the Key West yeah I didn't even get gas because my car gets yeah I got out took a piss in the Key West and Kiwa no Kia Largo Key Largo and I don't remember this the gas stations all look the same I don't think I'm gonna listen to reggae and I'm having a great day and the sunroof's open and I pulled in I can't I don't remember I gave a bathroom yeah over there I took a piss I actually took a I washed my house and they have sanitizer yeah I washed it I went out to my car I puffed two Puffs I turned on the reggae I got my GPS teed up I put in Islamorada it said when I get there I'll smoke more I'll probably give it away I already here have this what's this okay it's free it's it's good he's taking heroin hey try this instead dude what do you mean I'll give you a free ones I got six more in my car get off the heroin go down to the beach and we'll stop the drug problem Oh okay that's crazy and you said that persecutive and you put you over there actually you think that you shouldn't be driving right I should have had one punch you should get one pound you should stay on the item for people with low tolerance it's eight sermons you know what they say it's not FDA approved we can't put dosage information on there what we can put it on oxycontin take two in the morning and call me in the let me ask you this what did you tell people if you're new take one if you're a stoner take ten okay so to be honest you think that two pops was too much for you yeah slightly it's very slight I mean I would say let's set a point a fraction thereof I mean but yeah if it's against if the fraction thereof of some kind of whatever it is is illegal and I'd maybe drove a little bit too fast seven miles over the speed limit maybe past too many people I don't want to drive a car there's a gap boom let's turn signals on guys in his truck honking at me in passing dude I got a bike I got a place to go my son I'm listening to reggae I'm not hurting anybody this one guy came up on my like he's gonna run me over him I get my bikes back there run me over dude you're gonna be like the cops are going to come they don't know that if you rear end someone it's your fault okay Skyrim enemy take them down did you take anything else no I'm telling you the God's honest truth oh yeah I'm just asking I don't know he just tested me do I seem based you you are impaired definition yeah it's better so I'm trying to figure it out is there is there a means of Benjamin metric system right over there that's what kilometers why why is it different here than there that's why I'm here I don't like convoluted I like Simplicity uh minimalism Sunshine surf palm tree seashells dinosaurs is sailfish I'm just getting started I don't care about anything else dude I really don't man you could drop me take me on a boat drop me 60 miles offshore and surfboard a paraport shorts and my pelagic sunglasses I'll find my way home a guy will probably be driving by hey any help the Marine police will show up hey he's crazy take him in oh he's ties fighting a shark all right stand up hammerhead get him out of there place my arm the Sheriff's Office later confirmed Theodore's condition and charged him with driving Under the Influence Theodore is currently held on 2500 bail