if it pleases the cord I would like to tell a story about a noble ship's captain a villainous pirate by the name of Faye pooperson and a foul miscarriage of Justice objection your honor he's testifying and my name isn't pooperson Richardson pooperson what's the difference it's unorthodox but I'll allow it you're just him in a wig a wig if I may say you are rocking your honor if I weren't married I'd be all over that I bet he's so much better than Harvey I am please proceed your honor paragraph five of the nautical code states that a captain shall not relinquish command to a party of pirates if anyone here is a pirate it's him and I am the British Navy in this situation objection she's hijacking my metaphor sustained miss pooperson this is your only warning he hasn't even called a witness she does have a point I don't need a witness to prove my case to this jury of my peers did he say Pierce I know can you believe this guy I think we've heard enough Mr Foreman has the jury reached a verdict we have your honor we find the defendant guilty on all charges as if there was any question Miss Richardson I hereby sentence you to death I don't even know what I'm what I'm on trial for and that's the beauty of this whole thing bailiff take her away pleasure well done well done [Applause] for the record and then what I said about him being better than Harvey so true [Applause] [Music] conundrum is burning a hole in my brain sink logically I mean I mean Sheila is professional and meticulous and wonderfully anal and if she says that nothing gets misplaced in her and her sang them then I believe her which leaves the National Security option is my cross CIA please there's a better chance at Esther's in the KGB I mean I can ask Sheila if I'm no longer fond of my testicles which wait a second missing testicles missing file you can't be missing if it doesn't exist holy [Music] what if my cross never went to Harvard at all what if he just went to some Krabby third tier law school like Fordham or Arizona State yeah hey bro yeah I know I'll see at the party I'm not gonna study for the bar damn straight that's right bros before hoes oh yeah you know all right that's enough he's been peeing directly into our pristine pool of eliteness foreign really quickly I need you to get a pack of rechargeable triplet it's out so I guess I'm just talking to myself [Music] are you kidding me Norma I've told you a million goddamn times two percent of mercado's afternoon milk she's going to taste the extra skim and who do you think she's gonna take it out on me oh and find out what the holdup is on my trademark claim on lit up Nigel you're back a week early I was getting a holiday an extra week but I was rejuvenated after only two days in the native Clays at Guangzhou you're glowing and I can't wait to see McCarter the lovely lass is here I see the ocean out here then who's that for that's for me it's my afternoon milk it's a spot gotta run Lewis where is she at the best cat to find the city getting her nails buffed in her paws polished you spoil her she spoils me call me when she's back I will Rachel Lewis code red Lewis what are you doing here you know I'm here I'm here because of this I don't know what that is please your language is all over it you might as well have signed your name what I want to know is why I got a call about an article on Mike Ross's meteoric rise to Junior partner problem is I remember every student that's ever gone here and there is no my cross so I double checked my file room and then I send this sure you're messing with my firm why didn't you come to me first because it didn't occur to me that I had to it is you reported it anonymously because you didn't want to look bad you didn't trust me to keep you out of it I reported it anonymously because I was ashamed that it happened on my watch but I'm not gonna stand by while somebody besmirches the good name of Harvard University you have no proof that Mike Ross merched anything why are you defending this low life because if you come to me first I could have stopped this whole thing from happening oh my God you knew Sheila please you don't know him like I know him what exactly are you doing here Lewis I want you to retract that email it's only you made a mistake you found the file do that Sheila please when we broke up I forced myself to accept it because ultimately I knew we wanted different things but it killed me because I also knew that we were soul mates the fact that you're asking me to do this [Music] we are not soul mates I'm begging you at least don't come forward I never was going to come forward Lewis leave me alone Mr lit sorry your honor sorry I'm late are you ready for closing arguments yes I am ladies and gentlemen of the jury opposing counsel has accused my client of a great many things but you see here's the problem they don't have one single fact to back up their claim I mean not one so you know what I'm gonna do I'm going to challenge you actually no scratch that I'm going to dare you to find dispute with the facts of this case as we presented them because are you a good person yes are you a good person yes are you actually you took notes so I could see you carry see this is the kind of jury that they teach about this is the kind of jury that's going to hear me when I say these four words you know what those four words are because I want you to remember these four words to your dying breath he didn't do it he didn't do it Mr lit are you okay I'm already outside they live call an ambulance holy this is the best thing ever I love the both of you so much this is your doing Harvey we're making progress holy this is the best egg roll ever Jesus Christ get me out of here this is so awesome I mean I haven't been this stress-free since I took gold in the math Olympics and Esther went to fat camp in the same week Esther went to vacuum they called it violent All-Stars but we all know what that's code for and if you so much as picture her in a school girl outfit come on Louis we're all feeling good you telling me you never slipped up and had an inappropriate relationship Lewis I don't want to know the answer to that I did was the most shameful man of my life Harvey what exactly was so shameful about it well she was a paralegal and I took mud with her I understand are you saying you sullied her reputation no I'm saying I saw like the concept of mud what the hell are you talking about what do I need a bullhorn I had a premature modification what the hell does that mean I think we all know what that means it means I couldn't hold my mud I still don't know what that means did you take a in the mud no that's disgusting what part of this conversation isn't disgusting I know I'm gonna regret asking this who exactly was it I cannot tell you that information okay good because the truth is I was Missy dealer Louis I'm going to ask you a question I want you to tell me the truth does Missy dealer know that you couldn't hold your mud oh heavens no the Turkish silt was thick enough to prevent her from feeling it so was it thick enough to hide you wanting to go to sleep after my God she knew I got news for you Lewis they always know you're so right she I need 15 minutes to myself [Music] oh the associates mean more no not more the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one last word said that Spock The Wrath of Khan I will take her back to Nigel for you well thanks for doing this for me Rachel but I want to do something for you first a reward of sorts for your victory see I was right to pick you to be my lawyer and as it turns out Columbia Law School degrees this morning I wanted to say it before you congratulations Rachel you're going to be a lawyer a real boy [Music] [Music]