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I'm gonna get shorts
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the year was 2019. it was the middle of
October on a nice cool night
this officer with a Columbus Division of
police was on his way to get a cup of
coffee to help him get through the night
he did not quite make it to the coffee
shop because he ran into Todd Todd is a
man who likes to smoke crack and wear
women's bikini bottoms while dancing in
the middle of the street
at about 3 30 in the morning
I'm at Sullivan Wilson with the guys
kind of naked in the middle of Wilson
Road
190 for Broad and 70.
that's 10 to 190. run out here please
Ariana
194
0.
just stay away from your car man
we'll get your shorts
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why don't you put that down
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oh just hang on I just don't want you
getting in your car you you know
I don't have no weapons
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I don't see anything oh here what is
that come on foreign
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where do you normally stay in where do
you normally park your car [ __ ] no I
just [ __ ] drive around all night
okay
you putting those back on no
okay
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there's no harm you can tell them he's
harmless you don't have any weapons okay
I'm farming I want to welcome them
until I got several cards yeah
say he's got some shorts over here I'm
gonna try to find him
yeah yeah yeah
what's going on I'm [ __ ] up man I'm
goddamn crackhead God damn
nobody
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girls oh yeah that's [ __ ] I'm just
stupid
no I got them right here thank you he
was wearing some I don't like some fancy
panties and he stripped them off
threw them over here
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well he was standing in the middle of
the road yeah [ __ ] weird I'm mental
let's go to that guy he probably drove
it here I don't mean no harm not just
under the mouth but I'm [ __ ] stupid
that's awesome okay I needed I needed to
come to this because I get my life
together is this your vehicle yeah yeah
we could have I mean an idiot because I
wanted it to come down I drove it right
here and I stopped and I was talking to
myself and I said this is what it's all
about world this is why I'm on it and
I'm gonna I need to stop the [ __ ]
crack the crack makes me [ __ ]
you took crack tonight he was holding 35
kilometers 35 years ago so my left
my last kiss I was like what was your
last time
a minute ago okay right there
it's on by the camera
just sit down
sit down thank you totally harmless
what's your social yes ma'am yeah
yeah
girls man what's your last name yeah
Gleason yeah
[ __ ] smoke crack for 35 years
and if you're trying to get help why
don't you just call instead of stopping
your car in the middle of the road
do you take anything besides crack today
for five days man I had to stop I'll
tell you what scaring's [ __ ] up and I
damn near just killed myself so I had
one piece left I said okay
if something's wrong with this
I'm just the Lord yeah
okay we'll get you there
I got a problem a gender disorder
disease I wish I was one of them chicks
and I can't be so that's [ __ ]
depressing and yeah
when's the last time you sought help for
mental health once you went to a doctor
no no never I know
they're not [ __ ] need to never in my
life I can probably lied about it
because I wanted to continue well you
know there's much easier ways to get
help than to stop your car in the middle
of the road and strip your clothes off
all you had to do is like go to the
hospital and they would take care of you
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okay I'm gonna die thank God
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I'll do whatever you say whenever you
say
okay
that was one of our cars
I was going in
oh yeah no food no water no drink I've
been doing it cold still yes please can
you put your glasses up for a second
look at me
3501 is clear
yeah
it's like a treat
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his crack pipe and lighter is still
right next week
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you don't know
whatever
I got one thing I love the Lord
I'm on parole
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oh so you just did this today no no
I got paid
and then hustle and so he got more
money so you haven't really been
homeless you just came up to Columbus
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it's right here on the ground I haven't
ducked down and you feel a harness got
it by myself
[ __ ] cars it's been running for five
[ __ ] days okay
yeah
I think he got out packed his yeah I
went all out this is your world and he
was shaking his booty in traffic when I
yeah yeah that's all you did was take
crap yeah anything else
look I don't have her I don't do any
other drugs just [ __ ] like three four
five hundred dollars on a crack a day
with no food and [ __ ] after 35 years
for 35 years yeah since 16 years a lot
of money
obviously I thought you said you've only
been doing this for like five days oh
yeah yeah okay it's been six months I
was clean
yeah there's no there's nothing else in
there you can check everything
what's going on there it is checking
make sure that's okay oh yeah we gotta
be careful I just bought that they're
they're calling a specialist officer
that can examine you to see if you're
okay
sleep to Prime that [ __ ] crack on no
food no water five days oh my God you
[ __ ] started you don't you're not
even who you are you [ __ ] lose your
mind
I took
you [ __ ] I don't know
so we're driving around in this
underwear or did you hit somewhere that
you took oh yeah yeah you just been
driving around like that babies
as long as your dick's not hanging out
you can wear anything you want it
yeah well that's what you've been
driving around wearing all day no
where'd you put your shorts that you
took off
I don't see him anywhere oh I pulled
those out of your clean clothes
okay you must have tossed them in the
back seat or something I didn't see them
because I'm tired
yeah
there's nothing wrong with bathing suit
we'll make sure we pick it up so you
don't lose it
no good yeah I think so um
I think they're just gonna have 35 it so
yeah
I love you yeah you got it
yeah we're just gonna hang out [ __ ]
talking [ __ ] all about you guys
[ __ ] if you didn't have them the
goddamn that's our sergeants they can
talk [ __ ] on they both are yeah no the
two that just walk away
they talk [ __ ] about us all the time
day long every [ __ ] time I see
something I never seen it before okay I
don't know if I would recognize this
truck or not I bought it
oh
yeah it was steering rape it was
steering good all of a sudden
it's going exterior
and also [ __ ] saws
I'll never get it yeah together
all they have in there is my license you
guys okay let's move grab that out in a
moment
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it's just a little brown
IES I think we can hold this so you say
you
try I think I was doing pretty good
before everybody else got here too I
just needed one officer yeah
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like sequence and stuff on it and I mean
he was like
bent over like shaking his ass and then
when I stopped yeah
he starts coming towards me he's like
yeah [ __ ] yeah oh man like this
I don't want to do this right now
then he came over here so I reached to
turn off the car because he kept trying
to get back in the car
he's like I'll get you my ID he's like
come here let me get look at let me get
anything I'm like okay go get in the car
man please and I'm like I don't want to
put my hands on you so where'd you come
from so then he uh
well like before you got in your car and
you're driving where'd you come from
you just went to um the 35 School school
she's all
right
about tonight
he said that he's jealous of the hot
girls on the street that's why he
that's why he was talking about girls
that abroad
s
oh yeah yeah
what's up I'm hungry I'm tired
was there still crack in it when I
pulled up and when you were smoking it
right in front of me
so you pulled over and you had to like
just get your head on and then
[ __ ] this is what I [ __ ] lived for
for 35 [ __ ] years is [ __ ] dumbass
is it Gleason
okay so you stopped here how long ago
were you at the BP
15 minutes but I got here and I [ __ ]
in a hurry [ __ ] I'm going to get me
another piece I was gonna lie I was
gonna lie
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I mean I was gonna take them I'm glad
that didn't happen I just said [ __ ] I'm
stopping the right [ __ ] here
you were gonna try to rob a dope boy
there's a war with them oh and they're
like getting a window
I don't know I was gonna do it they were
going to give me some money
I think he's still smoking when you
hold up uh he was holding it in his
hands and then he said hey I'm all
[ __ ] up he's like look I'm gonna smoke
this crack right now
right here
now
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good job
can it ever happen to me why can't I
[ __ ] stop smoking [ __ ] crap when
did you start smoking today
you guys in five days wherever I slept
nowhere like 325 yeah
they said he was at the Elvis house and
had a good job and everything and then
when he got his paycheck
like last Friday he just brought his
paycheck up here and he's been smoking
crack all week off of it she hasn't been
home
okay
damn they [ __ ] drives me [ __ ] wild
you're fetish
no this is bathing suit bottoms over
there
yeah it's not illegal at all if you
honestly if your car wasn't in the
middle of Road and you're shaking your
booty like that I it would have been
fine if you did that on a sidewalk or
parking lot or something
you're just kind of blocking the road
oh yeah
some
where
I wanted to ten dollars
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