[Music] I always told Sara and our children that I was only afraid of death nothing else frightened me not even Heights or spiders only the inevitability of one day facing my own mortality I don't fear it anymore no I welcome it I beg for it in these everlasting unending moments there is no rest for me as I can't sleep I'm forced to stay awake and listen for my resting place accompanied in this void by the constant beating of my heart it is a curse and I don't know what I did to deserve such a fate my family can't hear me because they believe that I'm already dead I hear them when they visit me no they treat my resting place as a confessional sharing their most intimate thoughts and beliefs as though they are speaking to no one at all but no I hear them I have no choice it is a small gift that over these long years these visits have become so less frequent Sara was the first to stop visiting she begged for forgiveness and understanding as she had finally relented to our children's wishes and moved on from our union her stepfather was kind to them and they were both on the path to truly seeing him as a father I'm sure that you would want me to move forward she told me unable to hear my silent protests he keeps me safe he makes me happy daggers to my still-beating heart I don't think I've wished for death more than I did that day if only to end my constant suffering Michael was the second to stop visiting he had made it to resent in me to hating me for not being there to teach him how to be a man he blamed me for his own immaturity it pained my heart when Rini stopped by recently to hear from my resting place that my daughter walked down the aisle with her stepfather instead of me that she was expecting her first child in the coming months she had the audacity to pray that I would be there to watch over my granddaughter guiding her as she enters the world I'm so desperate to leave my spit on her prayers who really believed in her more candid moments of confession that she was the only one to care for me after all these years she saw her more frequent visits to my resting place was a badge of honor something to brag to her friends about because it made her feel like a good person if she wished to honor her father's memory she would have pulled the plug years ago but of course she insists that I wouldn't want that which I suppose is my own fault he was only ever afraid of one thing she'd tell the nurses I know he'll never wake up but this this is what my father would have wanted [Music] her name was Sarah not that anyone called her that because Sarah knew it out Sarah was good at math in English art in history Sarah knew that the Sun was a star not a planet Sarah knew how babies were made most of all Sarah knew what happened when people died because Sarah at one point had died - Sarah talked about it before and after a before Sarah but she did not talk about this much but Sarah did talk about other things Sarah talked about hiking in beautiful places about swimming with such colorful fish Sarah also talked about less interesting topics like politics little Sarah talk like an adult sometimes but were someone so smart some teachers did not like her especially miss Nellie sometimes miss Nelly would stare at Sarah and Sarah would stare back the other children would be much too focused on their books or too focused on chatting with each other to notice where there were often moments like those moments of tension and an unsettling connection between the two but what everyone did notice is that Miss Nelly did not like Sarah Miss Nelly was often cold and rude to Little Miss know-it-all tight-lipped temps and never offering a smile miss Nelly routinely refused to look at little Sarah in the eye but on the rare times she did miss Nelly seemed to look away immediately with an anguished and fearful look in her aged tastes because Little Miss know-it-all knew it all and Sarah knew nearly Osborn secrets Miss Nelly knew about before Sarah mrs. Nellie knew about the broken body or troubled son put in the water miss Nellie had helped him bury the body the truth Florida top the calm waters from the lake near the Osborne swamp she helped bury a woman but now return was a child a child who on her first day of class with Miss Nelly said to her I know exactly what you did [Music] [Music] I love my husband and I know he loves me it's there everywhere I look from the moment I wake to his sleep soft and smile and his fingertips tracing my jawline to the post-its he leaves around the house when he's at work silly sweet notes that make me smile it's in the texts that he says he always thinks of me the solid warmth of his arms when he comes home in a tenderness in his eyes the little presents he brings home earrings hair clips once even a bracelets of pearls glowing like the moon I never thought I'll find someone like him someone who never shouts or who doesn't leave bruises who doesn't mind if the house isn't spotless or if I've put on five pounds he doesn't call me useless or go through my phone when I'm asleep searching for evidence that I'm having an affair with every man I've ever met oh he's not perfect I know I've seen the lipstick smudges on his shirt the fading scratches on his skin once even a bite mark I know there's some things I just can't give him but he makes what we have all the more special they'll never be the woman who shares his life who's waiting for him at home who he can't live without the one he admits he's always thinking of whenever he's with him I know they're nothing to him really so when he comes home late worn out and sweat-drenched I kiss him below and put his clothes in the washing machine while he showers away the grime make sure the dinner's hot and ready for him sympathize with his stories about his awful boss pack his lunch and set out his clothing for tomorrow find a space for the silver necklace in his collection take off the laundry and make sure the bloodstains are gone from his favorite shirt make sure the babes are put out before they start to smell and when he holds me in his arms each night I am so thankful to be the one he chooses to share his life with [Music] last week I was sitting in a bar in the West End of Boston when I noticed a strange man at first view it seemed like you're a normal 30 year old male brown hair sorrel beard wearing a grey raincoat he sat next to me an offer to buy me a drink I refused politely and asked him why surprised he said don't you remember me Matthew I was startled how could this man and know my name we were best friends when we were younger we grew up just a few blocks from here and went to the same school I'm John I scanned his face closely he didn't seem quite familiar maybe what he was saying was true maybe John was my long-lost childhood best friend so I pretended to recognize it and we spend the rest of the night talking about our past and the weeks following John was very present in my life we had coffee in the morning and went out for a beer on the weekend this was new for me since as long as I could remember I had been more of the loner type I never had any close friends before John and maybe it was true we had known each other before one night we were having dinner 11:00 most Fridays but John seemed different this time he was acting distant and a bit colder than usual when I asked him what was wrong he said he had to show me something I followed him outside towards my neighbor's house Mary was a young widow living with her two sons alone since her husband died in a railroad accident John climbed the window to Mary's house and signaled for me to join him which I did hesitantly we opened the window and stepped inside the empty living room it was late so they must be in bed I thought in the kitchen left to the sink there's a drawer you will open the drawer and take the sharpest now if you find said John I was confused but did it anyways John dragged me upstairs and pointed me towards the door I opened it to find Mary sound asleep in her bed slit her throat said John I shook my head and discussed no slit her throat ordered John more fiercely I felt like I wasn't in control of my body anymore my shaky hand grabs the knife tightly as I approached the sleeping Mary it has been two weeks since John pushed me to murder Mary and her two young boys the police haven't found me it and I haven't seen John since then I finally resolved to call my father and ask him about my supposed best friend I asked him if you remembered anything about a friend named John from when I was younger my dad turn looked at me smiled and said yes I do remember John he was your imaginary best friend [Music] [Music] it's inside all of us you may not believe this but I work for the government I have worked on a top-secret project for over 30 years the knowledge of what we have been doing has been slowly eating away at me and I've realized that I have to tell someone before it's too late I picked this platform and channel because I feel you people might believe me anyways I digress about 2040 years ago the Egyptians ruled you may have heard of their immortal Pharaoh's an animal like gods this sounds ridiculous I know but people used to live forever when anyone else reached a certain age roughly 30 or 40 the pharaohs killed him up so as to avoid competition for the throne and about the same time a small meteor hit earth despite only leaving a small crater it left a very big impact in human history it bore an alien plague from the cubular belt it quickly spread across the earth millions died within weeks the plague still exists you may think that it has been eradicated by now but you would be mistaken it's inside all of us it is eating away yourselves mutating them and spreading like the cancer throughout the last couple thousand years it has chained and mutated optimizing itself for maximum survival it's inside all of us it spreads faster in some people than others from the day you are born until the day you die most people don't know why you died of old age some people say it is just because your body is tired and worn out it's not as I said earlier you should be immortal but as the plague eats away at you it gives you wrinkle and makes your hair turn gray because of the stress on your body when the mutation is about to happen you are bedridden you then die of old age you don't if you are allowed to live a few days longer you would turn the plague will take hold and as your body fell apart you would attempt to kill everything you could see when you are near that face you are killed a government-operated will turn off your life support while no one was in the room or provide a faulty IV drip laced with untraceable toxins you wouldn't reach the chain my job is to kill I'm based at the hospital in New York and when anyone is about to turn I have and will kill them no one will notice and the world will remain safe just remember that as you're lying in your death threat I'll be coming for you soon I grew up in a family of four I told us to the therapist but she doesn't understand me she simply nods and taps her pan against her notebook as if waiting for me to divulge but I have already told her the most important thing about brother-sister she says casually looking directly at me sister I say she isn't as nice as she looks the therapist chuckles and angles her knee to match my Mary I've read all about it it's manipulative sorry to hear that she says sometimes it's much harder for us to like our siblings than it is others to do so she killed three dozen men and women over her lifetime they say still like her the therapists cringes but only for a moment as she dashes a note home to a white bait your mother and father terrible people noticing a pattern my sisters are brought where's mom and dad are skilled and tortured when you hear the screams you'll wish my sister had the job the therapists write notes enough to fill half a page I think we're going to reduce your end oxy before next session and the murders she rests a hand on my knee and offers a sad smile let's park those for today today today is all we have I want to know more about you she says I understand you might feel conflicted about all of this I don't I'm sorry sister killed my parents play different strokes Shirley and then there's me lucky number for the thoughtful one well I tried to be I'm sorry I tried I let my marks get to know me before they died she got to I smile exactly I love the look of horror as it all comes together [Music] I didn't kill Amanda don't get me wrong I wanted to but I did it the moment I saw my wife of 11 years having sex with some [ __ ] in our own bed something snapped the dresser was next to me and Abed on the opposite side of the room I knew I could pull up my gun from the top drawer and nail them both onto the bed before either of them could open their filthy mouths to blur out some pathetic excuse under why should spare these little shits who ruined a perfectly happy marriage but I didn't I'm not that kind of man instead I let the son of a [ __ ] go and haven't spoken to my wife since a few days later I opened the door to a police officer who asked me questions about Amanda apparently she was reported missing by her mother who repeatedly tried and failed to reach her phone I hadn't seen her for three days at a time and honestly I didn't care this cheating bastard probably deserved whatever happened to her I spent the next few weeks with interrogations and court trials they seem to have no doubt as to who was the culprit can't blame them after all would have been awfully convenient for the murderer to be the victims ex-husband people in law enforcement probably see the same case every other week luckily there wasn't enough evidence to convict me the whole process was soul-crushing months spent trying to convince people that I didn't murder the love of my life while staring at the obvious disbelief in their eyes I wish I had killed her it'd have been much simpler for everyone but I didn't no matter how angry I was I could never do that to her today as I write this it's been exactly a year since I caught her red-handed I miss Amanda so much but everyone seems to have forgotten about her I would too if not for the fact that I still have her presence she's still with me I can see her some nights I can hear her crying as if apologizing to me for the things she has done at least that's how I like to see it sometimes she screams making me jump out of the land in panic usually broken finger or a rib is enough to shut her up sometimes she feels like resisting and I have to bring out the knife oh the horror in her eyes she has always been frail so I don't have to flay her a lot before she passes out then I changed the duct tape she chewed through with a fresh one and go right back to my cozy bed you see I told it didn't kill Amanda could have shot her the moment I walked into that room but I didn't and I made sure that every day she wishes that I had my son's voice doesn't echo it's true his voice doesn't have an echo he was around four years old when we noticed it we had been at the park playing on our way home we passed through a tunnel I've always found echo was very funny so I shouted some nonsense really loud it bounced back right away it made my son giggle he shouted something but he didn't bounce back it was all flat I looked at my wife she didn't seem to notice come on buddy try again louder I said to him he did but it made no difference his voice did an echo I found it quite odd but we didn't talk more about it that night my wife locked herself in the bathroom for hours I could hear her sobbing in there but she wouldn't let me in the years past my wife decided to home-school our son since she was a teacher I didn't argue with her on it other kids can be cruel she said as we discuss different educational options I know what's best for him she insisted her son didn't have any friends my wife was sort of overprotective of him he only spent time with us he was an only child me and my wife had difficult time conceiving letting us in on IVF treatments after some excruciating months we finally found out that she was pregnant nine months later he was born it wasn't just that his voice did an echo that made him different one night when we practiced his reading skills I started making shadow figures on the wall I made various animals my son thought he was hilarious and he wanted to try as well I helped form his grip into a figure and placed his hand in front of the lamp I gasped nothing my son not have a shadow this couldn't be real I knocked on the bathroom door to tell my wife of my latest discovery she was in there again she had been crying a while ago just like every other night the past years now all I heard was silence I called her asking if everything was okay no answer I got up and grabbed a screwdriver after minutes of struggling I finally managed to get the door open I found my wife lying in our bathtub the water was dyed red from her cuts beside her made a small note it read to my husband forgive me I can't continue living this lie our son is dead he died of cancer when he was two your doctor told me it was your way of coping with a loss and that it would go away but it never did you still believe that he exists it breaks my heart to pretend that he's with us every day I can't live with it anymore I'm sorry [Music] [Applause] you