Hello everyone. Welcome back to another interesting video. This time we're going to be doing something new. So, a Tik Tok influencer who calls herself the finance bag game got married at the age of 28 and she divorced a year later at 29. She's one of those lifestyle influencers that teaches other women to live healthy. Here is a clip of her getting ready for her wedding and her getting married. Take a look. The wedding content is finally here. Come with me to get married. I got up at 4:00 a.m. I think I was just too excited and couldn't sleep. I'm really going in with these eye masks today because obviously I'm not trying to look tired on my wedding day. I took a shower and got dressed. This is my fragrance for today. My husband actually got it for me and I love After that I went downstairs and made myself an iced coffee. Our wedding is today and our honeymoon is tomorrow. So, I did a little bit of laundry because we really don't have a lot of time. I fed Zara, took her on a walk, and gave her a treat to make up for the fact that she is not invited to the wedding. Then, I hopped in an Uber to get to the country club. My hair stylist, Delenia, is getting started with my hair. She washed and blow-dried my hair the day before. She's been here since 9:00 a.m. doing my bridesmaid's here. I'll be doing Hollywood waves. This is my first time doing any kind of waves in my hair, actually, and I really like it. There was a little cheese and cracker spread, which was pretty much the only thing I ate this day because it was a very busy day. Now my mom's getting her hair done and I'm getting my makeup done. Shout out to Blush. She did my makeup, my mom's makeup, and my bridesmaid's makeup in record time. I got some shots in my robe. Got my mom together. My hair stylist is doing some final touches. And now I'm putting on my dress. This dress is custom made by Deeo Bridals, which is a black womanowned bridal dress business based in Canada. Shout out to my bridesmaids who were helping me get myself together. I honestly don't know what I would have done without all of their help. Things just happen to go wrong on your wedding day no matter what. So, get all the help that you can. After that, I put on my cathedral veil and we are pretty much ready to go. Before I walked down the aisle, my maid of honor said a prayer with me. My bridal party looked so beautiful. Now, it's time to get married. If you want to see my wedding photos, they'll be on my Insta. Stay healthy and wealthy. Up next, you're going to be watching her narrate her story of the reason why she decided to get divorced after a year of getting married. Please make sure not to develop any form of bias before watching the video to the end. And don't forget to leave your comments down in the comment section, your thoughts and your comments in the comment section. Enjoy. So, why am I getting divorced after a year and a half? I got married at 28 and I'm 29 and I'm currently getting a divorce. And I owe it to you guys to explain to you why I'm getting a divorce because over 10 million of you guys watched me get married last year across Instagram, Tik Tok, YouTube, and a lot other wedding content that I put out. I'm a lifestyle creator. And so, you know, you're going to see my life, the ups, the downs, all of it. It is just a part of the process. But the reason why I do want to share why I'm getting divorced is because um I got married to a narcissist unknowingly and it was all built upon a lie. And I started talking about this on threads and on my Twitter account and I shared some of that to my Instagram stories. And since sharing that, I've gotten hundreds of DMs from women um who are in the same situation or who have been in that situation. And so many of them have told me, "I'm so grateful that you've been talking about this and that you've been transparent about this because I didn't have the strength to leave. Now that I'm seeing that you are leaving so soon as well, I'm now inspired to leave." I do want to talk about this specifically when it comes to the narcissistic abuse part because you don't even realize it's happening to you while it's happening to you. For so many of us, we just didn't even know what was happening while it was happening. I'm going to share as much as I can. And I think it's also important for us to remember that there is a difference between narcissistic personality disorder and having narcissistic traits. Okay, those are two different things. So, let's start from the beginning. So, in 2020, I met my husband on Hinge and I was living in New York City at the time and I was working from home. I was working on Wall Street and I was pretty isolated. Here comes my husband on Hinge and he looks great and he seems like a pretty decent guy and he really sold himself as like this faith-based guy and like really serious with like really good intentions and um you know I bought it. Now he was going to be starting a job on Wall Street as well at a different firm and I like the fact that he was already in the industry so he understood my work schedule because I really did have a demanding schedule. Again, very normal guy, seemingly decent guy. The relationship is good to start. Towards the end of 2020, I started to pick up on the fact that our values weren't really aligned and especially when it came to faith. There were some things that weren't adding up, right? So, I did let him know that, hey, I think we should break up. I think we should part ways because, you know, we're just not aligned. Now, he accepted it at first, but then he kept trying to message me and get back with me and saying, you know, I really don't understand. I really miss us and all of that. And then he starts to mention the fact that there's a ring fund because, you know, he sees me as his future wife that he's already gained 14% on. And I remember saying to him like, I'm sorry, what does that have to do with anything? And so that is an example of I think it's called lovebombing. I am somebody who had a narcissistic parent. So I grew up on gaslighting. I grew up on manipulation. I grew up on love bombing. So that feels familiar to me. I didn't really have the language for what exactly my soon to be ex-husband was doing at the time. But now that I do have the language for it, I see it for what it was. Right? If you have broken up with somebody, they seemingly accept it, but then they're coming back and they're like, "Okay, but I have 14% on a ring fund, right? They're trying to like lure you back in, right? They're trying to talk about all these things that they do for you or what they're doing for you to try to lure you back in." Now, I was resistant to his efforts. At the beginning of 2021, I do start a new job, and that job is actually at the firm that he's working at in a different capacity, but we've been broken up. We're still cordial. Now, he's still trying to get back with me. He's inserting himself in a way that's friendly, but like also clearly like he regrets that, you know, we parted ways. Again, I'm focusing on my new job. I'm just focusing on like getting my life together. He does become a source of support for me as I'm in this new job because he's already familiar with this firm. He knows how to support people and like he really is just a great friend to have. My birthday is in July and yes, we're friends. We're not together, but he totally inserted himself into my birthday in a way that was like, you know, I'm her man. Got me a cake and everything. And like I appreciated all of those efforts because at the end of the day like it's great to have somebody who is looking out for you and all of those things but again I wasn't cognizant of the fact that like boundaries were not in place right and this is something that you have to be very aware of as a young woman when you're dealing with these men. Like if you have broken up with somebody, right, there is no reason why they should still be coming around in that capacity. And if they keep coming around under the guise of friendship, right, because they love and care about you deeply as a friend, you need to be very careful because I was very convinced that, okay, he keeps showing up and he's he's just around because like, you know, he just cares deeply about me and he just wants to be the person that's there for me. Now, despite the fact that we're broken up, anybody who has shown any kind of interest in me, anyone who he knows is interested in me, he's creating obstacles for these people. He would want to spend like every waking moment of the weekend with me, and I just had zero space. This is another sign that you were dealing with a narcissist. They do not give you any space. Keep in mind the job that I had at this time on Wall Street, I was working at the desk from 6:30 a.m. until roughly about like 600 6:30 p.m. Right? So, I'm 12 hours on the desk Monday to Friday. And every waking minute of the weekend, he would want to spend time with me. I don't really like people like that. I like my space. I do believe that I am an introvert and I really do need to recharge especially when I'm in an office setting and when I'm around people for so long like I need like to decompress, right? I'm blessed now that I work from home and I don't need to like recharge as much but I really needed my space. Now, it is fall of 2021 and he is really lobbying, really pushing that we get back together. And he's even convinced another one of my friends that he really loves me. He really sees a future with me and, you know, for me to give him a chance. He's very, very, very convincing. Like, this man, he could sell you anything. He is really good. He puts on a great show. And even my friend is like, "Wow, like I I don't know any guy who's ever loved you this much. Like this man is he is so committed." And I'm like, "Yep, that is true." And I'm like, "You know what? I'll give him a chance." We did get back together. At this point in my life, I wasn't really going out. I was just focused on myself. So, if you weren't already in my immediate circle, if I didn't already know you, chances are we were not going to meet because I went to work, I went home, I went to the gym, and I was just like focused on myself. You know what I'm saying? Like that's just where my head was at. Now by December of 2021, he starts applying to some jobs in Florida because he says he wants to move back to Florida potentially. By January of 2022, he gets a job offer in Florida. And he also does get another job offer in New York, which in my opinion was more aligned with what he wanted to do career-wise, but he decides that he's going to take the job in Florida. Now he's trying to say to me, you know, am I coming with him to Florida? I'm like, absolutely not. I have my career here. At the time, I knew no one in Florida. No, I'm not going with you to Florida. And I had broken up with him because I was like, I'm not doing a long-distance relationship. I just don't want that for myself. Now, after we got married, I found out that he actually told his co-workers and others, his friends and stuff, that the breakup was mutual when it wasn't, right? Cuz he was crying these crocodile tears, these fake tears. In retrospect, they were fake tears. They were narcissist tears when I told him that, "Look, I'm not moving to Florida with you. I'm sorry. Like, I'm not doing long distance. I have my career here. It is what it is." I think it was early February that he moved to Florida. Valentine's Day comes around 2022. Now, I think I'd gone out and I posted up like, you know, just in a cute dress or whatever. Who's calling my phone to find out if somebody took me out for Valentine's Day? My soon to be ex-husband. Mind you, I'm single, right? What did you think was going to happen? Do you not think there is a line of men waiting to take me out? You're single. I'm single. It's none of your business. Why should I spend Valentine's Day alone, right? Like, you decided to move to Florida. I am living in New York. I'm going to enjoy myself. You know what I'm saying? I tell him, "Look, you need to calm down and you need to focus on your life in Florida." There are a lot of baddies in Florida, right? Focus on the baddies in Florida. Let me live my life, right? Period. He's upset. He's not happy with it. It is what it is. Now, we didn't really talk for a while. I want to say like maybe about a month and a half because I kind of cursed him out and I was like, "Look, you need to stop calling my phone. You need to leave me alone." Like boundaries. He starts to weasle his way back in after a couple months of 2022 from the friendship angle. I started to post on Tik Tok in May. My first video that went viral on Tik Tok happened in the end of May. And in June of 2022, an anonymous account is created on Twitter. It has no posts. I'm still friendly with my soon to be ex-husband, right? He's still a friend to me, and that's that. I'm single in 2022. I'm focusing on myself. In August of 2022, I'm told by my boss that I'm being put up for early promotion. I soon to be ex-husband. At the time, I considered him to be one of my best friends because he always positioned himself to be like this source of support for me and just somebody who really loved me like unconditionally. Now, he was one of the two people that I let know that I was being put up for early promotion. Unbeknownst to me at the time, that same week, that anonymous Twitter account made some tweets using screenshots from my Tik Tok account tweeting my firm and FINRA. Now, FINRA is the regulatory body that oversees broker dealers, etc. Again, there are two people that I told that I was up for early promotion. He's the only one who would have known to tag FINRA in those tweets in an attempt to bring me down or to get me fired or to mess up my chances of getting promoted. I don't find out about these tweets because I wasn't even tagged and I wasn't really on Twitter like that. I was called into the office by compliance at my job and they were telling me that, hey, there's a spinner investigation going on because this random Twitter account made these tweets referencing your content and they tagged the firm and they tagged FINRA. They just told me, "Hey, just keep an eye out. You know, let us know if you have any idea who it could be." And they told me that they'd be doing their own kind of investigation as well. I remember my boss saying to me, "Go look into that. Go figure out like what's what's going on there." And I just thought, "Okay, maybe it's just like some random hater. I just had no idea who could be behind this kind of account." Now, if I'm experiencing a certain type of harassment on the internet, I do loop in my lawyer just to get an assessment of like, "What do you think this is?" And I remember my lawyer saying to me upon reviewing the Twitter account and reviewing the tweet, he said, "Honestly, Christine, we've seen this before many times. This account was created specifically to try to bring you down. These tweets are laced with jealousy. This is a classic case of jealousy." And he actually asked me, "Did you get put up for promotion or something? Did you get a promotion?" because I've seen this a lot before and it's clearly laced with jealousy. And he said, "Is there anyone you can think of who would be jealous about you getting a promotion?" And I said, "Well, I only told two people and those people, you know, in my minds, I was like, they would never be jealous of me. Plus, only one of those people would have known to tag my firm and to tag FINRA." And I remember asking my soon to be ex-husband. I was like, "Hey, did you tell anybody else?" But he was so supportive. He was just like, "Oh my gosh, the fact that somebody would even do that to you. They're such a hater." You guys, this man was like praying with me. He was like, "I want to pray with you against like the attacks of the enemy." It's not funny. Nothing about this is funny, by the way. But it's like at this point, all I can do is laugh, right? because I was so convinced that this man was for me. Right? He was praying with me. Right now, I know that he was behind that account. He didn't want me to get that early promotion because he knew that if I got promoted, there's no way I would be moving to Florida with him. And he had to figure out a way to get me to move to Florida because he just had to have me. Here this man is praying with me being like, you know, I just don't know why anybody would try to do that to you and like you just have all these haters now and whatnot. And he created this account in June of 2022 when he saw that like, okay, like her Tik Tok is growing. More people are going to find her, so I got to make sure by any means necessary that she doesn't find somebody better. He's telling me that, you know what, you're on the internet. You're on Tik Tok now. People can find your Tik Tok. So it's just probably somebody who hates on you. you've always had haters. It could be anybody." And I'm like, "Yeah, you know what? You're right. It really could be anybody at the end of the day." Now, nothing came from that investigation. I didn't get in trouble. I didn't get fired. But, did those tweets mess up my chances for early promotion? Absolutely. So, he was successful in his attempts. One thing that I did find out from my firm from this investigation process was that they had reason to believe that the person behind this account was a whistleblower. So, they were a former employee and they were airing out their grievances while using me to do so. Now, January of 2023, I have a new challenge to focus on because the black people at my firm have been getting underpaid now for 2 years. And we had clocked it the year before, but we were told that it was going to be corrected and we' be made whole this current year, which was at the time 2023. That was not the case. In fact, it was even worse in 2023. Now, that kind of stuff doesn't sit well with me. And of course, I'm telling my soon to be ex-husband about what's going on because he is a friend of mine and he's very supportive. he's like, you know, trying to make sure that he could be there for me and just like support me in this time that I'm taking on this challenge of like pushing back against my firm. So, one of the things that I do is I write a letter to the head of HR. Because of that letter that I wrote to the head of HR, an investigation was launched and they were like, "Yep, we messed up. People's pay needed to be revamped." Now, even though they fixed the pay of all of the black employees that were hired through this program, it still wasn't the correct amount. We were still being significantly underpaid compared to our white peers for doing the same work. I was not happy with that solution because I knew that that was just them slapping a band-aid on a situation that literally needed surgery. So, you know, I lawyered up. One thing you're never going to do is you're never going to play with my money. Especially when I worked for it. I've now taken on this legal battle with a major Wall Street institution. I am literally drained and exhausted. I'm fighting for myself and others who are not even willing to fight for themselves, right? Because there are a lot of people on Wall Street and in corporate America who are just not willing to stand up for themselves. But here I am putting in the good fight. Now, at the time, I did go to spend some time in LA because I'm just actually mentally drained. And it was good because I think it was like a different type of isolation. But at the same time, my soon-to-be ex-husband used this opportunity to really weasel himself back in as a source of support for me. He would fly in from Florida, spend some weekends in LA with me. He was really just like this great source of support for me and convinced me to get back together with him. And I was like, honestly, like he gets that. He understands what I'm going through, you know? And at this point, this man knows me well. He knows my family dynamics. He knows my triggers. He knows he knows a lot about me, right? So, he knows exactly what to say to get back in my life. Now, he starts talking about getting a ring and getting engaged somewhere around I want to say May or June of 2023. Truth be told, I should not have gotten engaged in the mental state that I was in in 2023 because I was so drained by this battle. I was so exhausted for having to fight for what was clearly like standard. Like the fact that I'm fighting for equal pay for black people in 2023, it was just mindboggling. You know what I'm saying? And just the back and forth with the legal situation, I was exhausted. But of course, the whole talks of engagement and all of that and like just like my soon to be ex-husband being there for me and just being this great source of support. It was just kind of like, oh my gosh, like he's so sweet. Again, I'm kind of in a days in 2023. I'm dealing with a whole legal battle. But I'm still excited because it feels like, oh my gosh, at the end of the day, this is the light at the end of the tunnel. We get engaged in August. Now, you know, once you get engaged, everybody's asking you when is the wedding? When is the wedding? When is the wedding? So, you have all this external pressure and my family, my friends, everything. I'm a type A person, right? I didn't end up getting a planner for my wedding. I ended up planning it myself. So, I'm completely caught up with planning my wedding. I'm still dealing with this legal battle. I have now moved to Florida. I still have my place in New York, but now I'm in Florida. Thankfully, now I know like two couples in Florida, so I do have a couple people there. But I'm now in a different state. I'm still dealing with this legal battle. I'm here planning a wedding. I'm also transitioning careers, right? Because when you go up against a firm in Wall Street, like best of luck if you think you're going to have a career in Wall Street after that. But also, that experience left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I decided that I didn't want to work on Wall Street anymore. So, I had made my mind up that I was done with the industry. Now, this legal battle, I'm not done with it until roughly February of 2024. And I also want to provide the context that I wanted to take this to litigation because the evidence was all there. The wrongdoing was there and it would have been a case that would have really changed a lot of things for the industry and people underpaying black people in the industry. But my soon-to-be ex-husband was a big advocate for me settling because he was like, "You know what? I've seen how drained you've been. I've seen how exhausted you've been and, you know, just prioritize your piece and um move forward." In retrospect, right, he just wanted me to, you know, get paid quickly and just move along. That's what he wanted me to do. If it were up to me, I probably would have litigated and my lawyers were ready and willing to litigate. Now, one thing to note is even before we got engaged, this is before premarital counseling, we had gone through this book where we were just kind of like figuring out like what do we want out of life? Does this all make sense? Does it make sense to get married? For example, one of those questions in that book was like, okay, how many kids do you want? And I remember saying, "Okay, like I want two to three kids." And he was like, "Oh yeah, I want two to three kids." Essentially, what he did the entire time, I did not know this, but again, he is a great actor. He deserves an Oscar. He was mirroring me the entire time. He knew my family dynamics. He knew what I liked. He knew what I didn't like. And he was presenting himself to be the type of person that I would want in a husband. Another thing to note is 2023 he suddenly gets very bulked up, very muscular. Now he was always athletic, but he was always on the slimmer side, right? 2023 he has bulked up, right? I'm like, okay, you know what happened to you? He just has this new found passion for the gym, I guess. Um, I mean, he always went to the gym, but like he was never doing all of that like weight and like he wasn't eating that amount of protein and all of that. Now, after we got married, that is when the mask started to slip. So, he would say things like, "I have to go to the gym and have all this protein and eat all this food to look good for you and to be bulked up for you." And I'm like, "Look good for me." You know what I'm saying? Like if you want to look like that, like you're the one who decided to bulk up like this, right? Like you decided to do this to yourself. I never told you to do that. So you always want to pay attention when it comes to dating someone. If you find that they're like transforming themselves to be someone to match you a little bit too much, right? And it's not organic, it's not natural, it's not something that they ever were. That is something that you need to pay attention to. At the time, I just thought, you know what, he bulked up. He has this newfound passion for the gym. It is what it is. I didn't know that someone with narcissistic personality disorder, they are going to mirror their target like crazy. And he had to bulk up in such a way and transform himself because he had to be seen as worthy of being my partner. But once we got married, he's complaining about the way that he has to eat all this protein and eat all this food for me. And I'm like, well, if you don't want to do something, you shouldn't do it. Like, it's not a requirement to be with me, you know? Like, this is something that you put on yourself. He has really deep abandonment wounds, right? And this is something I always encouraged him to work on. And it really showed itself in one particular instance. This was in July of 2024. He was going to get some food at this particular place that I don't like eating at. He was asking me what I wanted to eat. I was like, "Look, you know, I don't even eat from there. I don't know why you're asking me what I want." And I told him like, "Look, I'm going to go home and I'm going to order something." And at the time, we were out at this particular plaza and it was going to be easier for him to just drive there, get what he wanted, drive back home. And for me, it just would have been easier for me to just Uber home and order what I wanted. So, I told him, "Look, I'm just going to go home and Uber what I want." So, I got out of the car and I was about to call my Uber on my phone. I kid you not, this man drives in front of me, wrestles my phone out of my hand with such force so angrily that like I'm pushed and he drives off in the parking lot. He makes a loop in the parking lot actually like a lunatic in anger. And at the time, I only had my personal phone. I didn't have my work phone. So, I'm in the parking lot, no phone. He drives back around and I'm like, "Yo, what is wrong with you, sir? Like, what is wrong with you?" He's like telling me that I can't just be walking out of the car on him. It's disrespectful. Again, abandonment wound triggered. That was the first like I've never seen him like that before. Narcissists, a lot of them have an abandonment wound. When I'm trying to address this with him and I'm trying to get him to take accountability, he's talking about the fact that he's doing all this stuff for my birthday and I'm like, "What does my birthday have to do with anything? My birthday has nothing to do with this, right? Like, you're trying to love bomb me. You're trying to gaslight me. You're trying to manipulate me when you need to take accountability for your actions." though he does some semblance of fake accountability and he says, you know, he's going to be working on himself. It's not going to happen again. I want to add this in because I think this is very important for people who might be in a work environment similar to Wall Street because I had worked on Wall Street for years, right? I had interned on Wall Street my junior year of college. I returned full-time. A total of 5 years is what I spent on Wall Street. But you have to understand that there are a lot of narcissistic personalities on Wall Street. And I had normalized narcissists. Like the guy I worked with the last two years I was working on Wall Street, I worked with him the most, right? Straight up narcissist. But you have to understand that on Wall Street specifically, and I'm not talking about just corporate America, because there is a big difference between Wall Street and corporate America, right? It's a different personality type. And in order for you to be successful on Wall Street, you do have to have narcissistic traits. But again, there's a big difference between having narcissistic traits and having narcissistic personality disorder. In order for you to be successful in most spheres of life, you do have to have narcissistic traits. There is a healthy amount of narcissistic traits that one can possess. But when you have a full-blown personality disorder where you've had a psychotic break from reality, that's when things are now getting very dangerous. Now, he starts to say some random things, and this is after we got married. He would say things like, "I get why the guys at the office pay for escorts and essentially pay for smecks and stuff like that." And I would be like, "Huh? I'm sorry. What kind of what kind of rhetoric is that?" Like our values are not aligned if you're saying stuff like that. And you never said anything like this prior to us being married. So like where is this coming from? He would just be like, "Oh, you know, I was just like thinking about that." I'm like, "Okay." And you know, as a woman, you know that that's loser mentality, right? Because you know that if a man has to pay for connection with a woman, it just means that he's a loser. He does not know how to build a connection with a woman and so it's a loser mentality, right? And so I had to clock him about it and I was like, yo, like you I don't know where you're getting this rhetoric from and I don't know why you're saying this stuff, but you need to check yourself. Another thing that he starts to say is, you know, I get why guys choose simple women over career women because now he has an issue with the fact that I'm a content creator. And he's throwing shade at me being a content creator and working as much as I do. And he would also say things like, "People just don't know how hard it is to be an influencer husband." Okay, you knew what it was when you signed up, boo. Like, where's all of this coming from? Then he started to insert himself under the guise of helping me. um with my business, my influencer business. And he would always try to get me to accept like some low deals, some deals that didn't make any sense when I knew my value and I knew my worth. And I was able to negotiate deals at like four times whatever rate he was trying to get on my behalf. And I was like, "Bro, what are you what are you even doing?" You know what I'm saying? like, why are you inserting yourself in my business and why are you trying to get your wife paid less? And then he would throw shade about deals that I didn't take. A couple months ago, he was like, you know, you're the one who's turning down deals for 15K. And I'm like, huh? What's that supposed to mean? I'm not like you. I don't just take money for money, right? I understand that there's value to the work that I put out there and I provide value to brands and at the end of the day, this is my business. why are you inserting yourself in it? And I essentially had to be like, look, respectfully, I need you to step away from inserting yourself into my business and what I'm doing. And then he would try to gaslight me and be like, you just don't value my opinion. You don't value my opinion. No, boo. You're trying to control me. You're jealous of me because you can't stand the fact that I could make one video for a brand and it's more than what you've earned in the entire month from your job. And instead of being happy for your wife and supporting your wife, you're trying to sabotage her career. Another thing that I didn't pick up on as a narcissistic trait is I remember one time like I was crying and he got extremely angry with me. Like he was so angered by the fact that I was shedding a tear. He started to raise his voice and yell at me. And that was when I was like, "Oh no, we need to get in counseling because something is wrong with you, sir." Now, I didn't know what it was at the time, but the therapist clocked it immediately. She said to him in that first session, she was like, "Do you understand what it means to have empathy?" Because it feels like you don't understand empathy. He doesn't have the ability to be empathetic. It's this fake empathy. I never really understood that that was what was happening. So, if he sees me crying, it gets him so angry because he's incapable of putting himself in other people's shoes. Narcissists lack empathy. Also, after we got married, he would constantly make degrading comments about women. He was really frustrated with the fact that women had to do so little in comparison to men. So, for example, I remember him making a remark about the fact that my bridesmaids came into town before my wedding, like a couple days before, and they were able to hang out. And he was like, you know, my boys, you know, they had to come in like the day before. And he was like, you know, what do your bridesmaids even do? And I'm like, well, I'm sorry. Like, why are you so mad that women don't have to do what men have to do necessarily? Why are you so upset that women and men have a different experience of life? Do you want to be a woman, sir? Because that's what it's giving. And another thing that really upset him that I found very strange was he didn't like that there were plus-siz models featured in Sports Illustrated. And I was trying to explain to him that, you know, representation matters. Women of all sizes need to be featured and people need to see bodies that look like them. But his whole argument was like, "Men can't do the same thing. Women need to be held to the same standard as men." He's revealing to me once we're married just how misogynistic he is, which was something he hid very, very, very well before our marriage. And every single day, the mask is slipping more and more and more. And I had a trip, a solo trip um with Virgin Voyages the night before. He has a mental breakdown. He's telling me how unhappy he is with life, how unhappy he is with his job, how upset he is that he can't go on this trip with me and everything. And his whole goal was to make sure that I had a very unpleasant trip and that I was thinking about how unhappy he was the entire trip. That is something that narcissists do. They don't want you to have any fun or have any enjoyment without them. They hate that. In addition to the degrading comments he would make about women, he was always trying to change me into a housewife. I know I'm the meal prep queen. You got to understand that when I brought meal preps to the internet, this was for the corporate girlies. There are a lot of business girlies, corporate girlies who follow me. When I worked on Wall Street, yes, I did meal prep, but now I don't have to. I've meal prepped for brands and I've shown people how to meal prep and he has been a natural beneficiary of my meal preps and also he really needed them because the dude wasn't eating healthy. He wasn't having vegetables. He wasn't having fruits and so he really needed those. Apart from that, he would try to pressure me and shame me for not cooking every single day. Now I'm the type of person I cook when I want. But if I don't feel like cooking, I'm not going to cook because I don't need to. And when it comes to cleaning, I have always outsourced my cleaning. When I lived in New York, I outsource my cleaning. Unless I genuinely want to clean my space, that is just what I do. But you know what it was when you signed up, right? And we talked about this. It never gave housewife. It was never that. Now, if you're wondering, well, why are you staying with this man while he's saying all these things? is because there's constantly this gaslighting and this love bombing that's going on. Just constantly reminding me of things that he's done for me. That is just a small portion of the narcissistic abuse that I've experienced during this marriage. This is not the only reason why I am filing for divorce. I came to find out some dirt on this man and what he's been doing behind my back for a while now. Out of respect for him, like even though he doesn't deserve my respect, out of human decency, I'm not going to say it on here. But just know it is egregious. That's all I have to say on the topic. And I don't have to drag him. and I don't have to shame him for what I found out because one thing I know for sure is that everything done in the dark, it has to come to light at some point. Now, when I found out what I found out, I asked him, I said, "Hey, is there anything else you're lying to me about?" I gave him the opportunity to be honest with me because at the end of the day, I've been loyal. I've been faithful. I've honored our marriage. I meant my vows when I said them. So, I gave him the opportunity to be honest with me and he still couldn't do that. In fact, his response was, "I'm so focused on trying to get you a Range Rover because he knows that Range Rover is like one of my favorite cars ever." I'm like, "What does that have to do with anything? What does a Range Rover have to do with the lies that you've been telling me?" That is classic narcissistic response. So, I informed him that I would be filing for divorce and that it would be amicable and that we just do a clean split, sell the house, split the proceeds, what's yours is yours, what's mine is mine. Narcissists hate when they're no longer in control. And if you try to leave, they're going to punish you for it. So, once I let him know that I would be filing for divorce, he went into our joint account and he transferred money into his personal account. He wiped it clean. that included a New York tax return tied to my income because he didn't earn any New York income in 2024. He transfers that to his personal account and that is considered financial misconduct. If somebody lets you know that they're filing for divorce and you go into the joint account and you transfer money out and you wipe it clean, you have committed financial misconduct. Apart from that, he refused to release my phone lines because we were on a family plan. T-Mobile had called him. It's super easy for him to release my phone lines. He refused to release it because he wanted to surveil who I was texting, who I was calling. The only way I got him to release my phone lines was when I sent his mother a text updating her to let her know that I was aware of what was happening. Within an hour of me texting his mom, he released my phone lines. And then back to the financial misconduct with him taking out my New York tax return and other money from this joint account, his lawyer reprimanded him. His own lawyer reprimanded him for doing that. Like, you just don't do that. When he withdrew that money, he was hoping that that would put me in a tough situation. But dude, you married the finance baddy. Do you think I don't have money in other accounts? Do you think I was relying on this joint account? Do you think I tell you about all of my income when I clocked that you were jealous of me and trying to sabotage my career? That is standard classic behavior of a narcissist when you try to leave them. They're going to try to financially abuse you, smear your name as well because what he's been doing is talking to my friends and family, trying to create a narrative about me. They're going to try to keep anything hostage. They're going to try to surveil you. I caught him trying to log into the security cameras last week after I changed the passwords. So that is just standard just narcissistic behavior. Now in an effort to I guess get back at me after I told him I was filing for divorce and after he conducted financial misconduct and I called him out, he goes ahead and he files for divorce. What this does is it complicates things for him because given that he has now filed the petition. We have to respond to that petition. And when we respond to that petition, unfortunately, all of his dirt gets put out there. And so what little dignity he could have walked away from this marriage with has now gone out of the window. Again, I wanted an amicable and a peaceful divorce. I really didn't want all of this nonsense. But with narcissists, chaos is how they thrive. They have to create drama. If I were him, knowing what I do know, I would have chosen to walk away from this marriage with dignity. Whatever fragment of dignity he has left, but he chose narcissistic collapse, right? He chose ego and he chose to be childish. Now, could I have gotten on the internet and pretended everything was okay and put on a show for you guys? Absolutely. I can't do that and sleep well at night and that is just not a part of my brand. If I'm telling you ladies to want better for yourselves, if I'm telling you to do better for yourself, if I'm telling you to stay healthy and wealthy, that is all a mentality, right? That is a mantra. So, you have to want better for yourself. You have to walk away from the things that no longer serve you. And especially if you were literally a victim of a real life Joe Goldberg like I was. Now, there are a couple people on IG who said, "Oh, you got married for content." And I wish I got married for content, honestly, because it cost me so much. I would love to get my 75K back from the wedding. Honestly, that would have been invested. I would have had more money now. I would love to get back all the money that I've invested into this house, all the closets that I paid for, all the furniture that I've purchased, literally everything. I would love to get my money back. This has been such a loss for me. for you to get on the internet and try to think that people get married for content. I know I met my vows. My soon to be ex-husband on the other hand, he didn't mean a word that he said. He was literally a real life Joe Goldberg. But let this be a reminder that you will rise again. I'm currently in the process of getting out of this marriage. We will see how my rise again goes. I hope this is helpful and whenever I'm able to share more information, I will. I know the psychiatrists and the psychologists and the therapists will meet me in the comments and explain a lot of what I put down. And listen, it is never too late to walk away. Just like in finance, if you make a bad investment, cut your losses. It's not your fault. You looked at the financials, right? You looked at what was under the hood. You thought everything was good, but they put on a good show, right? They doctorred the books. That happens sometimes. But you cut your losses when you recognize that what you're dealing with is garbage. If you take nothing else away from these videos, I hope that you learn to put yourself first and honor yourself and honor your boundaries no matter the cost. Stay healthy and wealthy. Final thoughts, girl, I don't think you need anybody, especially your followers online, an explanation on the reason why you're getting divorced after a year of getting married. These people, I mean your followers are strangers who live their lives through you. But I really appreciate you sharing your story. Your story seems raw, vulnerable, and real. I'm so happy that you were able to get out of the marriage before having children.